Unconvinced

I'm pretty good at rationalizing things.

Take donuts, for example.  Why do I get two donuts when my four year old can only have one?  Because I have a bigger stomach, of course.  Never mind that they are completely devoid of any nutritional value.  Wait, no they aren't!  Surely there is SOMETHING in a donut that is nutritious... and even if there isn't, that glass of skim milk I'm having with my donut is well worth the nutritional cost of the donut itself.  After all, if I don't have the donut, I'll have no reason to have the milk.  But milk is so vital to my body!  The calcium, the vitamin D... as a Caucasian woman with osteopenia in her family, these are things I NEED!  So...  if I really want to take care of myself, I better grab a donut so I can drink some milk with it.  And when I get done with that donut, if I have any milk left, I should go ahead and have a second donut so I can finish the remaining milk my bones are so desperate for.

See that?  See what I did there?  I can make eating junk food sound noble.

This is a good skill to have if you're a salesman or a lawyer.  It's a TERRIBLE skill to have if you're in a relationship with the Lord.  Rationalizing with Him typically exhausts me, frustrates me, and wastes a lot of time.

When God tells me to do something I don't want to, I can put up quite the fight.  I use all the logic I have to convince God it's not really in His OR my best interest to do what He's asking.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," I say, "Stop and think about it, Big Man.  If I stop looking to others for affirmation, like You're telling me to, I'm gonna feel empty and depressed and devoid of value.  Not only will that be unenjoyable for me, people are going to start thinking You're pretty unfulfilling.  'Kelly sure is bummed most of the time,' they'll think, 'I guess her God isn't all He's cracked up to be.'  They won't think it is my fault; they'll think it is Your fault.  And since we don't want to damage Your street cred, we'd be better off just leaving things they way they are.  I'll keep getting my affirmation from people instead of You, and You'll keep looking like a pretty great God to serve, which we both know You are!"

After I lay my argument out there, I give the Lord a little nod as if to say, "C'mon, God, You know I'm right on this one."

God always listens to my thoughts with patience.  When I'm done saying my piece, He usually smiles gently and raises an eyebrow, communicating through His body language that He loves me, He hears how scared I am to do what He's asking, but His mind is unchanged despite my carefully constructed protest.  I haven't convinced Him of anything except the fact that I will go to great lengths to not have to face the underlying fears that are keeping me from obeying Him.

Great.  Lengths.

It's good to know I'm not alone on this one.  When God told him to lead the Israelites out of the bondage they were experiencing in Egypt to the Promised Land, Moses rattled off reasons why he wasn't the man for the job.  Moses argued that he was nobody special; God should rethink this (Exodus 3:11).  When God offered him comfort instead of conceding to him, Moses went to argument B.  Not only was he not special, Moses was sure that he'd be met with resistance (Exodus 3:13).  "Might as well not even try," Moses insinuated, "The Israelites are never gonna believe that You sent me."  So God told Moses exactly what to tell the Israelites to convince them to follow him (Exodus 3:14-17).  Not only that, God also promised He would take care of the Egyptians.  God would work in their hearts to compel the Egyptians to release the Israelites -the Egyptians' slaves - and send them on their way with silver, gold, and clothing (Exodus 3:21-22).

But that wasn't enough for fearful Mo'.

Unable to come up with a third argument against the Lord's plan, Moses returns to his second argument, "What if [the Israelites] do not believe me or listen to me and say, 'The Lord did not appear to you'?" (Exodus 4:1) 

If I were God, this is the point I would lose all my patience.  I would become infuriated toward Moses and either go find someone else who is willing to obey without all the hassle or just smite the fool right then and there.

But God doesn't do that.

He maintains His composure, and, like a sympathetic Father, He continues to try to assuage Moses' crippling fear.  God tells Moses He will perform three different miraculous signs through Moses in front of the Israelites in order to prove to the Israelites that God is indeed with Moses (Exodus 4:2-9).  Surely there would be zero room for the Israelites to doubt Moses then.  Surely Moses' confidence in God's plan would be rock-solid at this point.

But it's not.

Moses rehashes argument A.  Exasperated, he reiterates that he is not special by saying, "O Lord I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant.  I am slow of speech and tongue," (Exodus 4:10). 

You can almost hear the fear in Moses' voice.  I imagine him despairing, "Lord!  I am not a good speaker, how can I be a good leader?!"  Moses didn't have charisma or professional speech writers.  He knew, as long as it depended on him, he would never be able to convince an entire nation to follow him.

When my own kids are fearful of something, regardless of whether the fear is silly or serious, all I want to do is scoop them up and protect them.  I see the sheer terror in their eyes, the tears on their faces, and the last thing I want to do is force them to face whatever is spooking them.

I picture God, with his compassionate Father-heart, being really affected by Moses' confession of fear.  I suspect God had to really fight His Fatherly desire to let Moses off the hook in order to alleviate His beloved child's fright.

Instead, God reminds Moses that He is in control.  He reassures Moses again, "Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say," (Exodus 4:11-12).

In his last ditch effort to convince God to change His plans, Moses shelves his negative, self-deprecating comments and resorts to straight-forward begging.  "O Lord," he says, "please send someone else to do it" (Exodus 4:13).

To recap, God tells Moses to do something he doesn't want to do.  Moses tries to convince God that He is making a mistake via FOUR DIFFERENT ARGUMENTS!  I'm not special; the plan won't work; I don't have what it takes; PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME!

In the end, Moses doesn't convince God of anything except the fact that he will go to great lengths to not have to face the underlying fears that are keeping him from obeying God.

Great.  Lengths.

Hmm.  Sounds familiar.

SPOILER ALERT: Moses winds up obeying God.  And God comes through on all His promises to Moses.

God performs the miraculous signs through Moses, just as He said He would.  The Israelites believe Moses when he tells them God has sent him (Exodus 4:29-31).  God "encourages" the Egyptians to release the Israelites, and they are sent on their way with all kinds of riches (Exodus 12:31-36).  God comes through, true to His word. 

In short (which is funny because this post is so long), Moses nearly misses being a part of a pivotal chapter of world history because he is scared to trust the only One who is completely trustworthy.

I don't want that to be my story.  I don't want to let fear keep me from being all the Lord wants me to be.

The Kind of Encouragement You Don't Want

There is a downside to the fact that God wants what is best for us: He is willing to do whatever it takes to get us to cooperate with His plan. 

If you subscribe to the concept of free will, then God is never going to force us to do anything.  But He will arrange circumstances to "encourage" us to move toward Him.

Hebrews 12:7 tells us to "endure hardship as discipline."  I'm not sure when the word discipline got its negative connotation, but, originally, it was a positive thing.  Discipline meant "instruction which aims at increasing virtue" (BLB).  And that's how the author of Hebrews is using the word, too.  He says, "God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness," and discipline "produces a harvest of righteousness and peace" (Hebrews 12:10-11).

Holiness.  Righteousness.  Peace.

These are all things I want.  These are all things God wants for me.  But when I can't see how obeying God in a given situation is going to help me reach these goals, God is willing to do whatever He has to in order to adjust my vision.  He is willing to send hardship.  He is willing to discipline in the hopes that I will be trained by it (Hebrews 12:11).

He can correct me all day long, but if I refuse to learn from the discipline, I'll never share in his holiness or righteousness or peace.   Instead, I'll stay in my selfishness and turmoil.  And God, in turn, will have to tweak my circumstances once again in order to show me the way I am operating is not in my best interest. 

A long time ago, God told Jeremiah, "In vain I punished your people; they did not respond to correction" (Jeremiah 2:30).  God was exasperated with Israel!  Year after year they traded His Glory for worthless idols (Jeremiah 2:11).  The rest of the book tells of how Israel is unwilling to do what is in their best interest.  They are unwilling to be trained by the discipline God has been employing.  He is going to have to go to extreme measures if He wants to convince Israel that their idol worship is bad for them.  So He does.  He lets Judah be conquered, and the Israelites were taken into captivity for 70 years.

SEVENTY YEARS!

I don't want God to have to go to extremes to get my attention.  I don't want Him to have to keep turning up the heat because I am so stubborn I refuse to pursue what's best for me.  I want to respond immediately to His discipline.  I want to be trained by it.  I want to trust Him enough to obey Him even when I can't see how anything good will come from it.

A Penny for Your Praise

In case you've ever wondered, the key to winning my affection is to praise me a whole lot.

Like a puppy in obedience school, my tail wags, and I jump up and down uncontrollably anytime anyone throws a compliment my way.  Since childhood society has been teaching me that if I perform well, I get metaphorical treats in the form of good grades, kind words, and pats on the back.  Conversely, if I perform poorly, I experience ridicule, feelings of isolation, and my self-worth goes down the toilet.

I want that praise.  I need that praise.  

The good news is that this is a legitimate longing.  It is not wrong or bad to desire encouragement and appreciation.

The bad news is I tend to ALWAYS look to people for my confidence boost.   And, in case you haven't noticed, people are fickle.  They are unreliable.  They are here today and gone tomorrow.  And even the more consistent people are incapable of heaping on enough praise to satisfy my constantly wavering self-esteem.  People don't have that kind of time and energy to make their life's mission to encourage me (or you).

The Bible goes so far as to say that people who trust in men for their strength are cursed (Jeremiah 17:5).  Cursed?  Seems harsh.  In the next verse, the Lord says that those of us who trust in men instead of God "will be like [bushes] in the wastelands; [we] will not see prosperity when it comes.  [We] will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives" (Jeremiah 17:6). 

So we are stuck with a great big problem.  We need praise and encouragement.  But when we seek it from those around us, we feel like we are dying of thirst, unable to recognize blessings in our lives, overwhelmed with loneliness.

In a word, we are cursed. 

I can vouch for this.  My favorite place to seek encouragement is from godly men.  I want to know that men I respect love me.  I want men my dad's age to tell me they are proud of me.  I want men my brother's age to tell me they believe in me.  Basically, I want all men everywhere to praise me every second of every day.

What, too much?

The funny thing is my soul would still say THAT'S NOT ENOUGH!

But God doesn't leave us hanging.  We aren't destined to be cursed.  He offers us a way out.

Verse 7 says, "But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.  He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.  It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.  It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit" (Jeremiah 17:7).

When we go to God to get our praise needs met, we have a constant source of nourishment.  We are unfazed by difficult circumstances.  When no one is there to encourage us, we don't worry.  Instead, we remain confident and continue to mature in our faith. 

In a word, we are blessed.

It's easier to look to people for affirmation.  But it is infinitely more satisfying to look to God.

Overcoming Weariness With Ice Cream

Sometimes I am tired.

I am not talking about the I-need-a-nap kind of tired.  I am talking about the I-don't-have-the-emotional-energy-to-do-life-another-second kind of tired.  Weary.  Spent.  Done.

When I'm feeling this way, my solution is a three-step process:

1. Complain to others.
2. Consume ice cream.
3. Check out in front of the TV.

We can call it The 3C Approach to Weariness.  Pastors can build sermons around this alliterative list.  I think it will really resonate with people across all demographics, except maybe the lactose intolerant.

But lest we get the cart before the horse, let's consider my solution's efficacy (minor detail, right?).

Complaining to others requires me to focus on my dissatisfaction, perpetuating my weariness, which is the exact opposite of what I want to do.  Hmm.  Also, if I complain too often to the same people, being around me becomes quite unenjoyable.  My weariness spreads like an infectious disease, bringing down those around me.  Hmm.  Maybe we should nix step one.

What about step 2?  You will never convince me that consuming ice cream is a bad thing.  Ever.  I think it should be apart of every process.  Need instructions for making a sandwich?  Get out bread, spread on peanut butter, eat some ice cream, spread on jelly, eat sandwich.  Need directions for driving to Nashville?  Fill up your gas tank, get on I-40, stop for ice cream, arrive at your destination.  See?  Ice cream is never a bad idea.

Unless I eat it to make myself feel good so I don't have to work through my weariness in a healthy, yet much more difficult manner.  Or unless I eat it in mass quantities because it makes me feel good.  Or unless my body functions better on things like fruits and vegetables than it does on Rocky Road.  (Side note: my husband says I am the only person in the world who can eat a large bowl of caloric ice cream while watching the Biggest Loser, week in and week out, and not feel bad about it.  I'd consider examining the emotional problems behind that fact, but ICE CREAM IS SO DELICIOUS!)

Maybe we should move ice cream down The 3C Approach to Weariness list.  Maybe it should be the last step, a reward for successfully dealing with our weariness....   I know, I know, don't reward yourself with food...  I digress.

Step 3.  Check out in front of the TV.  Pretty sure this is a good idea.  When you're feeling beaten down by the world, nothing distracts you better than Friends reruns, NBA playoffs, or excruciating auditions for a certain singing show.  If you watch long enough, you can escape your problems until the next day, which is all we can really ask for, right?  Don't shoot too high and expect to eliminate your weariness.  Set the bar low and just seek to postpone it for a few hours...

Because we all know weariness can't really be beaten for any length of time.

And if that's true, my list is looking pretty good.  In fact, it's probably in the Bible somewhere - it's that awesome.

Hebrew 12:3 tells us what to do so we "will not grow weary and lose heart."  It says, "Consider [Jesus] who endured such opposition from sinful men..."  Hmm.  That C wasn't on my list. 

Consider Jesus and all he went through - beatings, ridicule, betrayal, false imprisonment, rejection, and brutal death.  If He went through all that for me, surely I can endure a little hardship for Him.  Surely I can exercise enough self-control to refrain from engaging in (fill in the blank) because He asks me to.  Surely I can take a little mocking from unbelievers because I profess Him like He tells me to.  Surely I can overcome some marital growing pains because I am submitting to soul reconstruction like He wants me to.  

Surely I will not grow weary during my "light and momentary afflictions" because He "endured the cross" for me (2 Corinthians 4:17, Hebrews 12:2)!

So it seems The 3C Approach to Weariness needs a little revising.

How about this....

1. Consider Jesus.
2. Commit to persevere.
3. Consume ice cream.

Plans

Life would be a lot easier if I would do things God's way the first time.

Instead, I try my way first.  I usually jump into something headlong without giving much thought to what God would have me do.  If, by chance, I do give thought to God's preference, I typically don't give it a second thought.  I file God's idea away for future reference and proceed to approach life my way.

When that doesn't work, I try my Plan B.  I sit down and explain to God why He should have honored my efforts during Plan A.  I lay it all out for Him, showing Him my flawless logic, drawing diagrams when necessary, and rehearsing the pros and cons.  I show Him the error of His ways in withholding His blessing from me when I do things my way.  And God listens.  He listens to every word.  And when I am done trying to persuade Him, I try Plan A again.  I may tweak it here or there, but it retains its original purpose: to accomplish my goals.  And those goals are usually to be happy, to feel satisfied, and to experience no pain.

That's reasonable, right?

You're not gonna believe this, but Plan B never works for me either.

In fact, Plan B usually leaves me drained, discouraged, and desperate - desperate enough to go back to God, hand Him the pieces of my broken goals, and ask Him to put them all back together.  He always receives me with open arms and compassionate eyes.  While He is overjoyed that I have finally come to Him, He's also sad that I had to experience so much hurt in order to finally be willing to depend on Him.  That was never His plan.

God's plan is for Him to always be my Plan A.

If I would just go to Him first with each decision I face instead of insisting on taking the scenic route, riddled with pot holes and construction zones...

If I would just spend time listening for His direction instead of petitioning Him to do things my way...

If I would just trust Him enough to take care of me, like He says He will, even though His plan is mysterious and unconventional to me....

...life wouldn't be so hard.

I might even find it enjoyable...

The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame.  You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.  Isaiah 58:11

Come Be Enough

I wish it were socially acceptable for me to handle not getting what I want like my toddler does. 

Allie's main goal in life is to run away from me in crowded and/or dangerous situations.  Are we shopping in a mile-wide department store?  She'll take off as fast as her twelve-inch legs can carry her, round the corner, and never look back.  Are we at an Easter egg hunt with a thousand other people?  She'll weave her way through strangers' legs, disappearing among the masses, totally unconcerned with my whereabouts.   Are we trying to find our car in a busy parking lot?  She'll slip her hand out of mine and run into traffic, cackling because she thinks she's winning the "Get Away From Mommy" game.

But if I ever grab her by her hand in these kinds of situations, look out.

First she says, "No." 
When that doesn't work, she screams, "WALK!"
I explain to her, "You can walk, you just have to hold my hand." 

And then comes the toddler melt down.

Shes starts to yell and cry and plops her bottom on the pavement, implying, "If I can't run in front of cars, I'm at least going to SIT in front of them and embarrass you with my blood-curdling screams!"

She steels her will.  She uses all 20 of her pounds to her advantage, refusing to budge.

I yank her up by her hand to a standing position.

She only has one weapon left in her tantrum arsenal: she goes limp. 
I am left with a child dangling from my hand.
Dead weight.

As I try to keep one eye on her older sister and the other eye on traffic, I shift purses (mine and her sister's), a diaper bag, a cup of coffee, at least one sippy cup, and the car keys to one hand.  Then I scoop up my baby with the other arm and carry the flailing child to the car while she yells "WALK!  WAAAAAAAAAAAALK!" and I yell, "I WIN! I WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!"

Sometimes I feel like acting like a toddler when I don't get what I want.

There are a million ways my heart cries, "More!"  Sometimes I want more love than I'm getting.  Sometimes I want more attention from certain friends.  Sometimes I want to feel more valuable.  Sometimes I want to be a part of something bigger and more worthwhile.  Sometimes I want more responsibility.  Sometimes I want more time to myself.

Whatever I'm desiring at the moment, the feeling in my chest is the same: unsatisfied.  I want more.

So I manipulate and coerce to get more.
I achieve and accomplish to be more.
I volunteer and apply to do more.

But it's never enough.

In Psalm 90:14 the author says to God, "Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days."

God can satisfy.

Psalm 81:13-16 says, "If my people would but listen to me...follow my ways...with honey from the rock I would satisfy [them]."

God wants to satisfy.

Psalm 145:16 says of God, "You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing."

God does satisfy.

So what gives?  Why am I so often unsatisfied if these verses are true? If it is well within this believer's reach, what do I need to do to experience satisfaction?

In a recent conversation with Him, God told me to invite Him to be enough.

He emphasized to me that He wants to fulfill me; I just haven't asked Him to lately (John 16:24).

When I find my heart asking for more, when I find myself feeling empty, depressed, or otherwise unsatisfied, God wants me to say, "Lord, come be enough."

Scripture says He is enough...  Believe it, and ask Him to come be enough for you.

How to Rejoice When You Don't Want to

When life sucks, I have a hard time rejoicing.  But God wants believers to rejoice always (Philippians 4:4).

Always?

Surely God doesn't mean always.  Because that's impossible.

How can we be expected to rejoice when we're stuck in a job we hate?  Or when our kids are sick?  Or when our marriage is at an all-time low?  Or when the doctor tells us we are infertile?  Or when we don't know how we're going to pay the mortgage this month?

How can a reasonable God require us to rejoice in these kinds of circumstances?

I think the answer is He doesn't.

He never calls us to rejoice in circumstances at all.  He calls us to rejoice in Him, no matter what our circumstances look like.

I think this distinction is huge.  It directly affects how we view God.

Philippians 4:4 reads, "Rejoice in the Lord always."  

If we think God wants us to rejoice over the loss of a child or our recent divorce, then we'll see God as sadistic and unfeeling.

But if we think God wants us to rejoice in Him - His goodness and His unfailing love - while we're in the circumstances, then we'll see God as a compassionate Savior and a heroic Redeemer, offering us hope that we don't otherwise have.

Here's how that pans out in reality.

You've just moved to a new town where you have no friends or family to speak of.  You are far from home.  You feel isolated and depressed as you grieve the friendships you've left.  You're hating life right now, loathing each and every minute.  And the Lord says rejoice.  If we hear this as "rejoice in your situation", we'll say, "There is nothing good about this situation.  I am hurting!  Even if I try to think positively about all the Lord might have in store for me in my new surroundings, that doesn't make my present pain any less."  But, if we hear the command to rejoice as "rejoice in the Lord," we can say, "Lord, I hurt right now.  The end of this pain is nowhere in sight.  But I know that you love me, and I know you are in control.  Thank you for being so trustworthy, especially when life is difficult."

The difference is, when we are rejoicing in who the Lord is instead of what our circumstances are, we are free to feel our pain.  We can be honest about our emotions and don't have to feel guilty for not feeling joyful toward life.

That's Impossible

There's a song called "What Faith Can Do", and it is playing like crazy on Christian radio right now.  When I heard it this morning, this lyric really grabbed my attention:

Impossible is not a word; it's just a reason for someone not to try.

I think it hit home because I am NOTORIOUS for claiming that things I don't want to do or things at which I believe I will fail are "impossible", especially when those things involve obeying God.  When God tells me to do something hard, uncomfortable or scary, I tell myself it's impossible.  And I am so matter-of-fact about it, my heart doesn't even usually notice that I am just making excuses to be disobedient.

My current struggle with "impossible" comes as I think about the holy standard to which God calls us.  Peter said in 1 Peter 1:15-16, "But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: 'Be holy, because I am holy.'"

When I think about the word "holy", I think of other words like "sinless", "pure", "perfect", and "impossible".  I just cannot bring myself to believe that it is possible for any human to conduct himself in a holy manner for more than about five minutes.  And that would be fine if that's what Peter meant.  If his original letter had said, "But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in small doses sporadically throughout your day," we'd all be in great shape.  But that's not what Peter intended.  We are to be holy all the time, just as God is holy all the time.  God's essence is holiness.  Holiness is not just another wonderful attribute about God that He chooses to display some of the time and shelf at other times.  God is holy.  Holy is what He is.  He can't be unholy or do unholy things because that would go against His very nature.

But, contrary to popular belief, you and I are not God.  We are not holy.  Our very natures are unholy.  We can't go one day without sinning, and we've never managed to eradicate that problem.  Even us Christians, whose sin problems have been taken care of from an eternal perspective, still sin everyday.  We are fallen, and it is impossible for us to be holy.

Or is it?

Scripture not only says that it is possible for us to be holy, it commands us to BE HOLY!  Whenever my perception of reality (holiness is impossible) clashes with Scripture's depiction of reality (holiness is possible), I know I am the one that is wrong.  After all, Scripture is holy, and I am not ;)

So, we are staring at this seemingly impossible standard - holiness - and we know we don't have what it takes to be holy, through and through, day in and day out.  But if we want to honor God, we have to find a way to obey.  What are we to do?

This is where I normally say, "Oh well.  I can't do it.  God knows I can't do it.  Therefore, I am absolved of all responsibility to even try."

Right?

Wrong.

God knows I can't do it by myself.   And He's not asking me to.  He's not an unreasonable guy.  He tells me in His Word how I can be successful in this "impossible" situation.

He says He will do it for me.

"Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ" (2 Corinthians 1:21).   God will make us stand firm - He will make us holy - if we are willing.  Per 2 Corinthians 1:9, all we have to do is rely on God.  He is the one with the power to help us accomplish the "impossible" things to which we are called.  Now, He's not going to force us to trust Him.  We have to choose.  But if we are open to it, He is standing by, ready to make us stand firm, ready to make us holy.

Hope For the Hopeless

I'm not an optimistic person.

I know, I know, those of you who know me are shocked.  The truth is I'd like to be an optimist, I just don't think it will happen.

Although I prefer to call myself a "realist" in lieu of being a self-proclaimed "pessimist", I think it is more accurate to say I don't pretend life is easy.  While it's true that I have a pretty cushy gig as a stay-at-home mom in a first world country, the fact remains that life, to some degree, is hard for everyone on every continent.  And that's because we are all dealing with unmet expectations. 

The orphan on the streets of Ethiopia's impoverished capital is disappointed he can't find food to dull his hunger.

The pastor at a mega church in Memphis, Tennessee, is disheartened to see congregants file out of his church each week, no more excited about the Lord than when they came in.

The young parents are devastated when their three-year-old is killed by a drunk driver.

The corporate manager is discouraged when he is abruptly laid off.

We all get gut-kicked in life.  Things don't work out the way we plan.  We get broadsided by inconveniences and tragedies alike.  Life gets interrupted sometimes.  Our expectations are often left dangling in the wind. 

And we feel hopeless.

We start to believe life will never be good again, or at least not as good as it was.  We simply cannot conceive of how our current disappointment could possibly work out for our good (Romans 8:28). 

We despair that we will never be fulfilled again.  Surely what we had or what we want is what is best for us (Genesis 3:6).  And, yet, God is showing us that we cannot have it (Genesis 3:3)...  "I will never be happy again," plays over and over in our minds, becoming less of a statement of emotion and more of a statement of fact with each repetition.

We become convinced that the pain will never lessen.  How could it?  Everything has changed; there is no going back; the pain will always be...

We cross over from feeling hopeless to acting hopeless...  and Satan smiles. 

He has accomplished his objective. 

When Satan can get believers to buy the lie that things are hopeless, we start living hopeless lives.  We stop living in light of the hope that is Jesus Christ (Titus 2:13).  And, in turn, we stop showing the world why He is worth following.

Contrary to whatever hopeless feelings we may be experiencing, those of us who have a relationship with Jesus have been called to hope.  In Ephesians 1:18, Paul says, "I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which [God the Father] has called you."   Pray that for yourself or anyone else you know who is battling hopelessness.  That chapter goes on to describe the hope to which believers have been called as, "the riches of [God the Father's] glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe."  Our hope is based on the facts that we will receive eternal life in the future AND that we have God's incomparable power on our side in our present circumstances. 

The exact same power that raised Christ from the dead is FOR us in this life (Ephesians 1:20)! 

It's hard for me to feel hopeless about anything when I am living in that truth...  Believers have access to the most genuine hope there is.  It is not fluffy, "think positive", mind-over-matter, "I think I can" garbage.  It is authentic hope that is as trustworthy as the Source from which it comes.  It is real, and we can live in it if we choose. 

Daily Dose of Grace

I hope you never get tired of hearing about grace.  I guess if you did you would've stopped coming here a long time ago.

A writer I enjoy, Jon Acuff, wrote about grace today, and he marveled at the idea that a holy God is also a God of second chances.  Actually, this side of death, He is a God of innumerable chances.  Whether we believe in God or not, every single day God gives us chances to choose Him.  But that isn't even the most amazing part.  

The mind-blowing part is that God gives us chances to choose Him even though we've NOT chosen Him COUNTLESS times before.

Who does that?!  Who in their right mind offers that kind of grace?  Even the "best" people tire of turning the other cheek.  Even the most loving people retreat from hurtful relationships after being taken advantage of umpteen times.  Even the most Christlike people give up on those who neglect them for too long.

Surely the God of the universe, perfect in every way, has the right to rescind His offer of unconditional love and His promise of Heaven if we show Him we don't want Him one too many times.  

Make no mistake, He DOES have every right to do that...

But He chooses not to...

He chooses to give us another chance to know Him and experience His unfailing love TODAY, no matter how we've rejected Him in the past.  And, if we wake up tomorrow, He'll give us another chance then, too...

Why?

Because He loves us. (Jeremiah 31:3; Zephaniah 3:17)

That's it.  It is no more complicated than that. 

 

God wants to give YOU grace. 

GOD wants to give you grace.

God WANTS to give you grace.

God wants to GIVE you grace.

God wants to give you GRACE!

Love (Not to Scale)

I never wake up in the morning and determine, "Today I am going to look for love in all the wrong places."

I never make a To Do List that includes "Entrust my heart to fallible humans", sandwiched between "Grocery shop" and "Fold laundry". 

I never remind myself to forget that God's love is better than life by writing it on a Post It note or my Google Calender (Ps. 63:3).

These are just things I do.  They come naturally - unprovoked, unwarranted, and unfailingly.  They are as common to me as breathing.

I routinely miss God by mistaking the love people offer me for the love He offers me.  

I have some people in my life who love me well.  I trust their love implicitly because they've proven faithful to me over and over again.  I have no fear that they will withdraw their love purposefully or inadvertently.  If life separates us, for instance, I have every confidence that they will still love me well, wherever they are, by continuing to pray for me with fervency. 

I am so thankful to have a handful of people who love me this well... 

...but there is a downside.

It is easy for me to forget that they are just scale models of God's love, mere samples of the abundant affection and commitment He offers me.  I get all caught up in human love and start to think it fulfills like nothing else can...not even God.  My happiness, my security, my hope all become tied to the frequency and depth of adoration people give me.

I buy the lie that human love is as good as it gets, and I allow myself to become satisfied with it... 

I stop pursuing the Lord.

I turn that energy toward people.

I demand more and more of their love.

Until...their love no longer satisfies.

I need this rude-awakening to bring me back to the truth.

God's love is unfailing; man's love is not.  (Ps. 52:8; Pr. 20:6)

Human love may fulfill us partially, but it is just a model meant to direct our attention to the only One who truly loves.

Do You WANT to Be Healed?

If you've been on this planet for any measurable amount of time, you've been hurt.  You've been beat up emotionally by people who love you, by people who despise you, and by all the people whose affections lie somewhere in between.  People have harmed your psyche deliberately and unknowingly.  There is no escaping messy relationships.  I imagine that even if you holed up on an island all alone, eventually, your feelings would be hurt by birds that ignored you and volleyballs named Wilson.

These hurts pile up until we are so weighed down that we can't seem to do anything without our baggage making itself known.  In response, some of us quit.  We quit relationships and activities because we just know our baggage will ruin them.  So why bother?  Some of us try to ignore.  We press on in life, pretending that we don't have the baggage we know we do.  We act like we are fine, and it's everybody else who has problems.  But when we finally admit that quitting and ignoring don't help (in fact, they amplify the pain), we reach our last resort...  We seek healing.

We seek healing in food.  And in people.  And in success.  And in a million other places.

Turns out, though, we don't get healing from those things.  We get distraction.  We get temporary pacification.  We get physical and emotional pleasure.  But we don't get healing.

Our baggage needs more than chocolate, a significant other, or a promotion at work.

Our baggage needs Christ.

Some of you are done reading this.  But hear me out.

In John 5 Jesus bumps into a man who had been an invalid for 38 years.  Verse 6 says, "When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, 'Do you want to get well?'"

I find it interesting that Jesus did not assume this man wanted to get well.  Apparently, some of us are not discontent enough with our wounds to truly desire healing.  And, at least in this case, Jesus wasn't going to force healing on him.

We get a choice.

Do we want healing or not?

The invalid did.  His response to Jesus was, "I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me."

The invalid wanted healing.  He pursued healing.  He put himself in the place where healing was likely to occur (by the water).  He tried to heal himself (by trying to get in the pool under his own power), but when that didn't work, he acknowledged he needed help.  

And you know what Christ did?  He healed the invalid.  John 5:9 says, "At once the man was cured."

AT ONCE!

So, do you want to be healed?  Are you pursuing it?  Are you in the right place?  Are you acknowledging that YOU CAN'T HEAL YOURSELF?  Are you asking Christ to do it?  Are you believing He can and will heal you from whatever colorful baggage you have?

It's possible.

It was possible for the invalid.

And it's possible for you and me.  

Bible Study Resources: Rev. 7-9

Selected commentary on Revelation 7, 8 and 9 adapted from David Guzik at Blue Letter Bible.

Rev. 7

Who are the 144,000? 

Characteristics:  The “children of Israel” (7:4), protected and triumphant through the period of God’s wrath, meeting with Jesus at Mount Zion at His return (14:1), celibate and “the beginning of a greater harvest” (14:4), marked by integrity and faithfulness (14:5).  It is best to see the 144,000 as specifically chosen Jewish believers in Jesus, protectively sealed throughout the tribulation as the beginning of the harvest of the salvation of Israel (Ro. 11:26, Mt. 23:37-39). 

v. 9 – salvation is God’s to give, not ours to earn.  

v. 13 - The presence of so many tribulation saints is a powerful statement of God’s grace and mercy. Even in this time of judgment and wrath on the earth, many are saved.  They are possible martyrs, dressed like the “souls under the altar”, whose number is now complete (6:11)

v. 14 – only the blood of the Lamb could clean their robes - Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red like crimson, they shall be as wool. (Isaiah 1:18)

Rev. 8

v. 1 - this silence in heaven demonstrates a sober, awestruck silence at the judgments to come, now that the seals are off and the scroll can be opened.

v. 2 - seven trumpets will sound as God’s battle-alarm during the great tribulation (OT ref.)

v. 3-4 - Prayer and incense are often associated in the Bible. The idea is that just as incense is precious, pleasant, and drifts to heaven, so do our prayers. So here, before anything happens at the opening of the seventh seal, the prayers of God’s people come before the Lord God.

The first 4 trumpets reveal the severity of God’s judgment.  He attacks all the ordinary means of subsistence, such as food and water; and He attacks all the ordinary means of comfort, and knowledge, such as light and the regular rhythm of days.  We know the great humility that comes upon men in the midst of something like an earthquake, because they know that “nature” is not as reliable as they had thought.  The first four trumpets also reveal the mercy of God’s judgment; these are partial judgments striking only one-third, and are meant to warn and lead a rebellious world to repentance before the final curtain. For now, God spares more than He smites.

v. 7 - God may use whatever method He desires to bring judgment, but people on earth know these events are from God, and do not think them to be merely natural disasters (Revelation 16:9; 16:11; 19:19).

v. 8-9 - some literal mass of land, probably a meteor or asteroid, falling into the sea and bringing ecological disaster.

v. 10-11 – possibly a comet or meteor crashing into the earth and bring ecological disaster; Wormwood is a very bitter substance, and proverbial for bitterness and sadness.

v. 12 - This does not describe a one-third lessening of light, but one-third of the day and night are plunged into absolute darkness. As Jesus said: the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light (Matthew 24:29).

Rev. 9

v. 1 – the “star” is a person (“he” in v. 2), best seen as an angel; whether he is a good or bad angel depends on his relation to the angel of the bottomless pit in Revelation 9:11. If the angel of Revelation 9:1 one is the same as the angel of Revelation 9:11, it is an evil angel - perhaps Satan himself. If it is a different angel, it may be a good angel sent by God to open up this bottomless pit for the purposes of judgment.

v. 2 – “the Abyss” = bottomless pit = considered the realm of the dead, the same as Hades, a prison for certain demons (Luke 8:31; 2 Peter 2:4, and Jude 1:6).

v. 3 - as part of the judgment of the great tribulation, God will allow demonic hordes, previously imprisoned, to descend upon the earth like a swarm of destructive locusts.  Locusts are agents of God’s judgment in the OT.

v. 4 - Those who have the seal of God on their foreheads (the 144,000 and perhaps more) are protected, but none other are. This is an inescapable judgment of God

v. 5 - Their purpose and period is expressly governed by God, and the purpose of all this to bring repentance

v. 6-10 - All we can know for sure is that in the period immediately before the end the wicked will be subjected to a time of unprecedented demonic torment

v. 11 - Abaddon and Apollyon both have the same thought of destruction or torment; Satan himself or another high-ranking leader of demons.

v. 13 - In the tabernacle and temple of Israel, the golden altar was the altar of incense, which was a representation of the prayers of God’s people.  Atoning blood was applied to the horns. From these horns, John hears a voice. In this, John recalls a persistent theme: the prayers of God’s people play a large role in the end-times drama.  

v. 14 - The Euphrates was a landmark of ancient Babylon. It was the frontier of the Israel’s land as fully promised by God (Genesis 15:17-21). It was also the boundary of the old Roman Empire, which will be revived under the Antichrist.  It was also associated with the first sin (Genesis 2:10-14), the first murder (Genesis 4:16), the first organized revolt against God (Genesis 11:1-9), the first war confederation (Genesis 14:1), and the first dictatorship (Genesis 10:8-10).

v. 16 – the army – possibly human soldiers, but more likely demonic troops, flooding the Earth.  

v. 20 - 21 - we are so quick to forget God’s lessons, even the lessons that come in judgment.

Black or White

I've been trying tremendously hard lately to get my ducks in a row. I am a black and white person, so I like rules and order. If there is a rule, I can follow it. I can know that I am acting and thinking correctly. If rules don't exist, I feel out of control and begin to hyperventilate, metaphorically speaking, of course.

Even now, as I sit in a coffee shop typing this, I see a sticker on my mouse cord that says "DO NOT REMOVE THIS LABEL". My first thought was one of total compliance - under no circumstances will I remove that label. The rule is to leave that label exactly where it is, and I know I will be in the right if I leave that label alone. But then I thought, "How silly! I am an adult and the owner of that mouse. I think I have the authority to remove that label if I want to. The world will not end." But will I ever bring myself to remove that label? Absolutely not. I'm just not wired that way, I guess. And if someone else came along and took that label off, I would feel unsettled because THEY BROKE THE RULE!

This kind of thinking may be beneficial is some circumstances. I am glad that surgeons, for instance, follow the rules. If the doctor removing my kidney stones thought anesthesia shouldn't be required, I would've been in an intolerable amount of pain. And architects need to be black and white people, too. If my house was designed by a man that found no use for a level, I wouldn't be safe in my own home.

But, in other situations, black and white thinking can choke the life right out of you. Lately, I have fallen into the trap of trying to force God to be black and white in all ways. The only trouble is God exceeds human logic. Even if I correctly applied all my biblical training and philosophical know how, I would still be unable to define all that God is and all that God does. That's terrible news for a rule-follower like me.

To be clear, I am not saying it is impossible to know anything about God. I am saying it is impossible to know everything about God. We will never have an air-tight understanding of God. There will always be more to learn about Him, and our brains simply can't process all that He is. A lot of surprises await us in Heaven, when we will have slightly better understanding of God than we do now.

That being said, how can we deduce which of our beliefs about God are accurate and which have to be left open for interpretation? I think God gave us some things to help us answer this question. And, as a black and white thinker, I must answer this question!

Creation can tell us a lot about God's personality. Nature shows us He appreciates beauty and enjoys being creative. Biology shows us He thinks in complex ways and likes to design things systematically. Man shows us He values relationships and community. Creation points us to truths about God.

The Bible reveals more of God to us. Prophecies and the fulfillment of prophecies show how much of a planner God is and how He drives history for His purposes. Interactions between men and God show how involved in our lives God is and how much he desires to relate with us. Jesus' death and resurrection show us how seriously offensive our sin is to God and how desperately God wants to reconcile with us. Statements looking forward to Jesus' return and describing Heaven show us that God's plan for us and the world is not over.

These are things we can know for sure about God. And they are enough for us to know how to live our lives in a way that pleases Him. There are a lot of other things that are true about God, too, but we will wear ourselves out if we try to nail down every detail. I'd love to have a list of every single thing I must believe to have a correct picture of God. But God didn't feel that was necessary. Instead, He provided us with a framework and fills in the gaps of our understanding with His grace.

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Milestones: Lexi's First Bible Verse

We were driving home from church a couple of months ago, and I was asking Lexi what she did in her class. We talked about the songs they sang, the kids she played with, and the snack she ate. Then I asked her what Bible story they read. She said, "God. Is. Love. First John. Four. Eight!" Elian and I were both shocked that our 2 year old had memorized a Bible verse. He cut his eyes at me and said, "Look that up!" Sure enough, she was right. My mommy heart was filled with joy.

Mind Over Matter

I love it when you know God is telling you something. You know because the same message keeps popping up everywhere you go. I guess unbelievers would dismiss it as "coincidence", but believers know that nothing is ever a coincidence.

I am in a Bible study right now that is reading John & Stasi Eldridge's Captivating. It's all about what God created the female soul to be like, exposing the wounds that prevent each of us from fully embracing our feminine identity in Christ, and allowing the Lord to heal said wounds. I'll just tell you it is not a fun study. It is hard to consider all the ways your earthly father unknowingly (and knowingly, in some cases) hurt you as a little girl, all the ways your mom failed to model a Christlike woman for you, and all the ways others emotionally hurt you as you grew up. Because children don't have the life experience and proper perspective to understand why people act the way they do, children begin to assume bad things happen to them because of them. It is their fault. And Satan preys on this misunderstanding to get kids to believe other lies about themselves (they aren't smart/pretty/good enough, they are of no value, they don't deserve love, etc.). When kids grow up, these lies have become truth to them, and it deeply impacts the rest of their lives.

I am only in week 4 of the study. Up to now, all I've done is identify my specific wounds and the lies I've believed as a result of the wounds. This week we will begin to study how to let Christ come in and heal our hearts. And I have a feeling that will include deciding to conciously replace the lies with truth - the Truth - the Word of God.

Lo and behold, that's exactly what my Sunday School lesson was on today. We are exploring the idea that mind over matter really can work, and, beyond that, is necessary for living a Christlike life. It's another way of saying speaking truth to ourselves when we find ourselves believing a lie. For example, one thing most of us struggle with is feeling stuck in sin. No matter how hard we try to avoid a particular sin, we always fall back into it. We feel a hopelessness about ever "defeating" that sin. When we find ourselves depressed about this, we need to consciously decide to speak truth in a mind over matter type of way. Like, "No! I am a new creation in Christ - I am no longer a slave to (insert sin here). Christ has given me the victory, and I am not going back there!" It sounds a bit like a pep rally for yourself, but, to be honest, I think that's what we need! We need to actually believe what the scriptures say about ourselves, and we need to believe it most when we are in the throes of damaging thinking, which cripples our actions as well.

It's going to be hard for me to get into the habit of thinking this way, but I'd like to.