There is a downside to the fact that God wants what is best for us: He is willing to do whatever it takes to get us to cooperate with His plan.
If you subscribe to the concept of free will, then God is never going to force us to do anything. But He will arrange circumstances to "encourage" us to move toward Him.
Hebrews 12:7 tells us to "endure hardship as discipline." I'm not sure when the word discipline got its negative connotation, but, originally, it was a positive thing. Discipline meant "instruction which aims at increasing virtue" (BLB). And that's how the author of Hebrews is using the word, too. He says, "God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness," and discipline "produces a harvest of righteousness and peace" (Hebrews 12:10-11).
Holiness. Righteousness. Peace.
These are all things I want. These are all things God wants for me. But when I can't see how obeying God in a given situation is going to help me reach these goals, God is willing to do whatever He has to in order to adjust my vision. He is willing to send hardship. He is willing to discipline in the hopes that I will be trained by it (Hebrews 12:11).
He can correct me all day long, but if I refuse to learn from the discipline, I'll never share in his holiness or righteousness or peace. Instead, I'll stay in my selfishness and turmoil. And God, in turn, will have to tweak my circumstances once again in order to show me the way I am operating is not in my best interest.
A long time ago, God told Jeremiah, "In vain I punished your people; they did not respond to correction" (Jeremiah 2:30). God was exasperated with Israel! Year after year they traded His Glory for worthless idols (Jeremiah 2:11). The rest of the book tells of how Israel is unwilling to do what is in their best interest. They are unwilling to be trained by the discipline God has been employing. He is going to have to go to extreme measures if He wants to convince Israel that their idol worship is bad for them. So He does. He lets Judah be conquered, and the Israelites were taken into captivity for 70 years.
SEVENTY YEARS!
I don't want God to have to go to extremes to get my attention. I don't want Him to have to keep turning up the heat because I am so stubborn I refuse to pursue what's best for me. I want to respond immediately to His discipline. I want to be trained by it. I want to trust Him enough to obey Him even when I can't see how anything good will come from it.
Showing posts with label discipline. Show all posts
Showing posts with label discipline. Show all posts
10.21.2008
Time Out
Time out is the most commonly practiced form of disciplining young children. Our doctor recommends starting it at 18 months; I've read that is the youngest you should start it, and some sources say don't even bother until they are 2 or 3 because they won't be able to logically connect the misbehavior with the time out until then.
We started time out with Lexi at 16 months. Not because she is a bad child (she's not), but because she was fond of screaming at the top of her lungs for no apparent reason at least 20 times a day. When ignoring her didn't work, and giving into her wasn't an option, we resorted to time out.
Six weeks later we no longer have the random screaming. Score one for time outs.
Disciplining Lexi is quite entertaining. I never know how much she understands or what she's retaining from these time outs. I often hear her passing the 1 minute punishment babbling to herself or "counting" the stairs. When the minute is up, I go to her, get down on her level, make her look me in the eye, and calmly explain why she was in time out in about two sentences. She looks at me the whole time, but I can tell she is thinking about what toy she's going to play with when I let her go. One time I told her not to do such-and-such again. She looked at me with big blue eyes and serious face and pointed to her palm, which is the sign for again. Another time I told her not to do such-and-such anymore. With the same stern face she did the sign for more. I guess I can be encouraged that she is listening, even if she isn't processing the main idea of our talks.
For the most part, I think time out has to be done 257 times per infraction before she will "get it" at this age. It took six weeks to figure out screaming = punishment... We've been working on not touching the dishwasher or TV for...at least 3 weeks. It is slow going at this age because toddlers have short little memories and they are incredibly impulsive (self-control has to be learned). But I know consistency is key. And at least she makes me smile through it.
We started time out with Lexi at 16 months. Not because she is a bad child (she's not), but because she was fond of screaming at the top of her lungs for no apparent reason at least 20 times a day. When ignoring her didn't work, and giving into her wasn't an option, we resorted to time out.
Six weeks later we no longer have the random screaming. Score one for time outs.
Disciplining Lexi is quite entertaining. I never know how much she understands or what she's retaining from these time outs. I often hear her passing the 1 minute punishment babbling to herself or "counting" the stairs. When the minute is up, I go to her, get down on her level, make her look me in the eye, and calmly explain why she was in time out in about two sentences. She looks at me the whole time, but I can tell she is thinking about what toy she's going to play with when I let her go. One time I told her not to do such-and-such again. She looked at me with big blue eyes and serious face and pointed to her palm, which is the sign for again. Another time I told her not to do such-and-such anymore. With the same stern face she did the sign for more. I guess I can be encouraged that she is listening, even if she isn't processing the main idea of our talks.
For the most part, I think time out has to be done 257 times per infraction before she will "get it" at this age. It took six weeks to figure out screaming = punishment... We've been working on not touching the dishwasher or TV for...at least 3 weeks. It is slow going at this age because toddlers have short little memories and they are incredibly impulsive (self-control has to be learned). But I know consistency is key. And at least she makes me smile through it.
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