How to Rejoice When You Don't Want to

When life sucks, I have a hard time rejoicing.  But God wants believers to rejoice always (Philippians 4:4).

Always?

Surely God doesn't mean always.  Because that's impossible.

How can we be expected to rejoice when we're stuck in a job we hate?  Or when our kids are sick?  Or when our marriage is at an all-time low?  Or when the doctor tells us we are infertile?  Or when we don't know how we're going to pay the mortgage this month?

How can a reasonable God require us to rejoice in these kinds of circumstances?

I think the answer is He doesn't.

He never calls us to rejoice in circumstances at all.  He calls us to rejoice in Him, no matter what our circumstances look like.

I think this distinction is huge.  It directly affects how we view God.

Philippians 4:4 reads, "Rejoice in the Lord always."  

If we think God wants us to rejoice over the loss of a child or our recent divorce, then we'll see God as sadistic and unfeeling.

But if we think God wants us to rejoice in Him - His goodness and His unfailing love - while we're in the circumstances, then we'll see God as a compassionate Savior and a heroic Redeemer, offering us hope that we don't otherwise have.

Here's how that pans out in reality.

You've just moved to a new town where you have no friends or family to speak of.  You are far from home.  You feel isolated and depressed as you grieve the friendships you've left.  You're hating life right now, loathing each and every minute.  And the Lord says rejoice.  If we hear this as "rejoice in your situation", we'll say, "There is nothing good about this situation.  I am hurting!  Even if I try to think positively about all the Lord might have in store for me in my new surroundings, that doesn't make my present pain any less."  But, if we hear the command to rejoice as "rejoice in the Lord," we can say, "Lord, I hurt right now.  The end of this pain is nowhere in sight.  But I know that you love me, and I know you are in control.  Thank you for being so trustworthy, especially when life is difficult."

The difference is, when we are rejoicing in who the Lord is instead of what our circumstances are, we are free to feel our pain.  We can be honest about our emotions and don't have to feel guilty for not feeling joyful toward life.

I Can't Make Me, but You Can

Truth be told, I don't like to obey. 

Doesn't matter what is being asked of me, my immediate reaction is, "No."  I suppose it is my way of maintaining my senses of being in control and independent.  And since I am the smartest person on the planet, it's imperative that I don't follow anyone else's instructions.  Ever.

It all started the day I was born, but I honed my skills of bucking authority in high school.  God's been working on sifting out all of those rebellious attitudes these past 11+ years I have been a Christian.  But as recently as Monday night, my defiant heart showed its true colors.  At church.  Sigh.

It wasn't a big deal, really.  But the heart attitude behind it is. 

I was at a women's dinner with about 400 women.  The leaders instructed us to take our tickets and drop them in a basket when we got in line to get our food.  And my inner toddler said, "No!"  It would have been simple enough for me to open my purse, find the ticket, and put it in the basket, like the leaders asked me to.  But, instead, I had these thoughts:

1) I don't want to take the time to find my ticket.
2) They don't need the ticket - they are just going to throw it away.
3) Everyone knows me at this church, so I am exempt from this directive.
4) No one will even notice if I don't bring my ticket with me.
5) Tickets are stupid, and I am hungry.

So I got in line without my ticket and even remarked to a few of the girls who went back to get their tickets how I am not a rule-follower.  ("But, Kelly," you're thinking, "didn't you write a post about how you are a rule-follower?"  Yes, yes I did.  I am a complicated person.  I don't pretend to understand me, and you shouldn't either.)  Anyway, we had a good laugh.  And I didn't think about it again until right now, 36 hours later, when I needed an anecdote about how I don't like to obey.  There were many such stories to choose from, but this one came to mind first.

Ironically, during that same women's dinner, someone shared a verse that resonated with me.  Out of the New Living Translation, Philippians 2:13 reads, "God is working in you, giving you the desire to obey him and the power to do what pleases him."

I've never read this verse in this translation.  It makes way more of an impact than the New International Version does. 

I breathed a gigantic sigh of relief when this verse pointed out to me that I DON'T HAVE TO HAVE THE DESIRE TO OBEY GOD!

Oh, thank God!  Because, most of the time, I don't!  Can I just tell you how amazing it is to get that off my chest?!  It's like I've been hiding a dirty little secret for YEARS, wanting to maintain the facade that I always obey God while skipping in the sunshine, whistling "Jesus Loves Me" and tossing handfuls of rainbow-colored glitter in the air. 

That's a cute little picture, but it's not truth.  (I know, you're shocked.)

The Bible says God GIVES believers the desire to obey him.  We aren't genetically wired with this desire (Romans 3:11).  It is something that comes from God - i.e., it's supernatural.

This verse is glorious news for those of us who are predisposed to cross our arms and pout whenever God asks us to do something we don't want to.  We are freed up to reject the lie that we are the only ones who don't want to obey God with a joyful heart.  We no longer have to believe that we are failures because we are more inclined to snub God's instructions than to embrace them. 

(Note: I am not saying we are freed up to not obey God.  We are still responsible for our decisions (Romans 14:12).  We just don't have to feel less than because our hearts don't desire to obey God naturally.  Nobody's heart desires that naturally!)

Yes, the first part of this verse is exciting.  But the second part is equally wonderful.  God not only gives us the desire to obey Him, he also gives us, "...the power to do what pleases him." 

You mean I don't have to muster up the energy or ability to do what He says? 

Excellent. 

Because I can't. 
And neither can you. 

It's not in our natures. 

Sometimes I want to obey God (after He's worked his supernatural mojo on me, that is), but I am convinced I can't obey.  I think what He's asking is too hard.  Even if I can see the good in obeying, I am too weak.  I will fail, I tell myself.  So it's best not to even try to obey Him. 

And the second half of this verse pretty much confirms that. 

It infers that I need God to give me the power to do what pleases Him.  In other words, I can't please Him out of my own strength. 

Oh, thank God!  Because I've never felt strong enough to obey God!  Can I just tell you how amazing it is to get that off my chest?!  It's like I've been hiding a dirty little secret for YEARS, wanting to maintain the facade that all I have to do to obey the Lord is flex my super-holy-Christian muscles, down a glass of raw eggs, and sport my "What Would Jesus Do?" sweatband. 

That's a cute little picture, but it's not truth.  (I know, you're shocked.)

The power to obey the Lord COMES FROM THE LORD.  Not anywhere else. 

So the next time we feel like we are too weak to obey the Lord, even if we wanted to (which we don't), let's put Scripture to the test and ask Him for both the desire and the power to obey and please Him. 

I'm betting He'll deliver. 

He's good like that.

When Church is Messy

In the past four months, two men on senior staff at my church have resigned.  By all accounts, these men love the Lord, His Word, and His Church with their whole beings.  Yet, on separate occasions, each man stood before the congregation and announced his decision to step down, but neither man said why.  Both times the congregation was left to draw its own conclusions.  And people rarely conclude anything positive in these situations. In fact, most of us assume the worst and lack the discipline to not contribute to the various conspiracy theories that are circulating. 

I don't know about the rest of you, but I respond to these kinds of sudden, mysterious changes in leadership at my church with anger, bitterness, and skepticism.  I don't like tangible proof that forces me to acknowledge that the Church is messy.  My church.  Your church.  The Church universal.  I like to operate as if the Church can and should be perfect and blameless.  I hold the Church to a higher standard.  If a problem arises, mature Christians ought to solve them lovingly each and every time.  It doesn't matter what the issue is, if the people love the Lord and are submitted to Him, my heart says there should never be division. 

The problem with that perspective, though, is it fails to take into account that Christians are just as fallen as everybody else.  We are just as prone to giving in to our sinful tendencies as the rest of the world.  We don't always see the truth; we don't always act lovingly; we don't always choose to obey the Lord in every situation.  We rebel.  We choose self over Christ.  We dig our heels in when we think we are right, no matter the cost.  We also often misunderstand the Scriptures and unintentionally misinterpret the Lord's will.  Our imperfect thinking and our naturally unruly hearts result in pain and strife more often than Christians want to admit.

It is no wonder, then, that the Church is messy.  As much as I want the Church to be perfect, it never will be this side of Heaven.  So what are we to do with that?  I am thinking we have to find a way to live that shows an unbelieving world that, despite our screw ups, we still have something they desperately need.

We have to highlight the fact that when Church is messy, it's not because the God of that Church slacked off or made a mistake or isn't as good/powerful as the people of the Church claim.  Church is messy because it is full of broken people.  Just like the world.  The world is messy because it is full of broken people.  When churches fight, divide, collapse, or otherwise stumble, they are illustrating in bright, bold colors how desperately they need a savior!  After all, if the Church, full of God's people, can't get it right, for crying out loud, who can?

The answer is no one.  The Bible says, "There is no one who is righteous...All have turned away, and they have together become worthless; there is no one who does good" (Romans 3:10-12).  But, "You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly [read: all of us!]...God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us," reconciling us to Himself, saving us from the mess we insist on creating (Romans 5:6-8).  

It doesn't matter who is right and who is wrong in my church's situation.  What matters is that we remember this truth: WE NEED THE LORD!  We are fully incapable of "doing church well" without Him.  He is our source of truth, peace, and power.  Without Him, all our works are rubbish (Philippians 3:8-9). If we want to overcome our sinful selves, we need, "Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us" (Philippians 3:20).

He can do more than I can imagine....  I am imagining a Church that isn't messy.  He can do more...  He can make a Church that is clean (Revelation 21:1-4).