A Penny for Your Praise

In case you've ever wondered, the key to winning my affection is to praise me a whole lot.

Like a puppy in obedience school, my tail wags, and I jump up and down uncontrollably anytime anyone throws a compliment my way.  Since childhood society has been teaching me that if I perform well, I get metaphorical treats in the form of good grades, kind words, and pats on the back.  Conversely, if I perform poorly, I experience ridicule, feelings of isolation, and my self-worth goes down the toilet.

I want that praise.  I need that praise.  

The good news is that this is a legitimate longing.  It is not wrong or bad to desire encouragement and appreciation.

The bad news is I tend to ALWAYS look to people for my confidence boost.   And, in case you haven't noticed, people are fickle.  They are unreliable.  They are here today and gone tomorrow.  And even the more consistent people are incapable of heaping on enough praise to satisfy my constantly wavering self-esteem.  People don't have that kind of time and energy to make their life's mission to encourage me (or you).

The Bible goes so far as to say that people who trust in men for their strength are cursed (Jeremiah 17:5).  Cursed?  Seems harsh.  In the next verse, the Lord says that those of us who trust in men instead of God "will be like [bushes] in the wastelands; [we] will not see prosperity when it comes.  [We] will dwell in the parched places of the desert, in a salt land where no one lives" (Jeremiah 17:6). 

So we are stuck with a great big problem.  We need praise and encouragement.  But when we seek it from those around us, we feel like we are dying of thirst, unable to recognize blessings in our lives, overwhelmed with loneliness.

In a word, we are cursed. 

I can vouch for this.  My favorite place to seek encouragement is from godly men.  I want to know that men I respect love me.  I want men my dad's age to tell me they are proud of me.  I want men my brother's age to tell me they believe in me.  Basically, I want all men everywhere to praise me every second of every day.

What, too much?

The funny thing is my soul would still say THAT'S NOT ENOUGH!

But God doesn't leave us hanging.  We aren't destined to be cursed.  He offers us a way out.

Verse 7 says, "But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.  He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.  It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.  It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit" (Jeremiah 17:7).

When we go to God to get our praise needs met, we have a constant source of nourishment.  We are unfazed by difficult circumstances.  When no one is there to encourage us, we don't worry.  Instead, we remain confident and continue to mature in our faith. 

In a word, we are blessed.

It's easier to look to people for affirmation.  But it is infinitely more satisfying to look to God.

Daily Dose of Grace

I hope you never get tired of hearing about grace.  I guess if you did you would've stopped coming here a long time ago.

A writer I enjoy, Jon Acuff, wrote about grace today, and he marveled at the idea that a holy God is also a God of second chances.  Actually, this side of death, He is a God of innumerable chances.  Whether we believe in God or not, every single day God gives us chances to choose Him.  But that isn't even the most amazing part.  

The mind-blowing part is that God gives us chances to choose Him even though we've NOT chosen Him COUNTLESS times before.

Who does that?!  Who in their right mind offers that kind of grace?  Even the "best" people tire of turning the other cheek.  Even the most loving people retreat from hurtful relationships after being taken advantage of umpteen times.  Even the most Christlike people give up on those who neglect them for too long.

Surely the God of the universe, perfect in every way, has the right to rescind His offer of unconditional love and His promise of Heaven if we show Him we don't want Him one too many times.  

Make no mistake, He DOES have every right to do that...

But He chooses not to...

He chooses to give us another chance to know Him and experience His unfailing love TODAY, no matter how we've rejected Him in the past.  And, if we wake up tomorrow, He'll give us another chance then, too...

Why?

Because He loves us. (Jeremiah 31:3; Zephaniah 3:17)

That's it.  It is no more complicated than that. 

 

God wants to give YOU grace. 

GOD wants to give you grace.

God WANTS to give you grace.

God wants to GIVE you grace.

God wants to give you GRACE!

Love (Not to Scale)

I never wake up in the morning and determine, "Today I am going to look for love in all the wrong places."

I never make a To Do List that includes "Entrust my heart to fallible humans", sandwiched between "Grocery shop" and "Fold laundry". 

I never remind myself to forget that God's love is better than life by writing it on a Post It note or my Google Calender (Ps. 63:3).

These are just things I do.  They come naturally - unprovoked, unwarranted, and unfailingly.  They are as common to me as breathing.

I routinely miss God by mistaking the love people offer me for the love He offers me.  

I have some people in my life who love me well.  I trust their love implicitly because they've proven faithful to me over and over again.  I have no fear that they will withdraw their love purposefully or inadvertently.  If life separates us, for instance, I have every confidence that they will still love me well, wherever they are, by continuing to pray for me with fervency. 

I am so thankful to have a handful of people who love me this well... 

...but there is a downside.

It is easy for me to forget that they are just scale models of God's love, mere samples of the abundant affection and commitment He offers me.  I get all caught up in human love and start to think it fulfills like nothing else can...not even God.  My happiness, my security, my hope all become tied to the frequency and depth of adoration people give me.

I buy the lie that human love is as good as it gets, and I allow myself to become satisfied with it... 

I stop pursuing the Lord.

I turn that energy toward people.

I demand more and more of their love.

Until...their love no longer satisfies.

I need this rude-awakening to bring me back to the truth.

God's love is unfailing; man's love is not.  (Ps. 52:8; Pr. 20:6)

Human love may fulfill us partially, but it is just a model meant to direct our attention to the only One who truly loves.

Loneliness Defined

A friend and I were talking awhile back about a book that suggests all people, at their core, are alone.  We feel this loneliness, and it motivates us to invest in relationships that will counteract our lonely feelings.  We long for quality community with others because we experience love within relationships, and love is the antithesis of loneliness.  Or, as my friend put it, loneliness is the absence of love.

Just as dark is the absence of light and cold is the absence of heat, loneliness is the absence of love.  If it weren't for loneliness, we would never realize we long for and need love.  And if we never come to that realization, we certainly never conclude that we long for and need God.  So loneliness serves as a compass.  When we experience loneliness, it is God's hope that we will realize it is Him, Love, that we want. 

I think it is safe to assume that many of you are like me.  When we start to feel lonely, we wallow.  We think about the "friends" that don't call us.  We entertain the idea that no one really understands us.  We assume that everyone else has more fulfilling relationships than we do.  We feel our loneliness.  But we fail to use the loneliness the way God intends for us to use it; we fail to let our feelings direct us to the Answer.

And that breaks God's heart.

God is good through and through, and, because of that, He doesn't enjoy our being lonely.  He hates it.  He hates the emotional turmoil we go through.  He weeps when we weep.  His heart breaks over our pain.  But He knows that unless we feel that loneliness, we won't come to Him.  And He hates that even more.  He knows that the best place for each of us to be is in a personal relationship with Him.  And because He wants what is best for us, He does whatever it takes to encourage us to engage with Him.

So the next time we are feeling the pain of loneliness, let's not stop there.  Let's use that pain as a catalyst to draw nearer to the Lord.  That's why that pain exists in the first place.  And He is the only Love that can take it away.

On Love and Fulfillment

I heard something interesting from the honorable Beth Moore today.  She said, "If we don't love God, we'll love anything."

It's probably no surprise to you that I think she's right.  All people are created with a God-shaped hole in their emotional hearts.  God did this on purpose because He desires a relationship with us (and, by the way, a relationship with Him is in our best interest).  He gave us the internal drive to seek Him out by making it painful and unbeneficial for us to do life without Him. 

We may not recognize them as such, but all the pangs of dissatisfaction, loneliness and despair that we experience on a daily basis are symptoms of a God-void.  And because these emotions are painful, we'll do anything to try to eliminate them.  We try to find something to cram into our hearts so we'll feel whole.  Lots of us use food.  I hear some people use exercise.  Others go to extremes with drugs and alcohol.  Whatever can dull the pain, we use it.  Most of us, however, use people.  We demand that our spouses, friends and family fulfill our emotional needs. 

The problem with all of these things, though, is that none of them are God.  Therefore, they aren't able to permanently satisfy; they aren't able to completely satisfy; they aren't able to purely satisfy. 

Only a perfect God can satisfy the longing of a human heart in a broken world for a sustained amount of time.  Cookies get eaten, miles are run, beers are drunk, and people disappoint us.  But an unchanging God can permanently satisfy us if we let Him. 

Those other avenues of fulfillment often have undesirable side effects as well.  When someone looks to food for emotional fulfillment, they often throw nutrition out the window, risking their health in a myriad of ways.  And, if The Biggest Loser has taught me anything, an unhealthy dependency on food also hurts your relationships with other people who love you and have to watch you kill yourself with sugar and fat.  But that's another post.  I've heard about people who become so addicted to working out, trying to find fulfillment in physical achievements and their appearance, that it literally takes over their lives.  Alcohol and drugs, even in moderate amounts, can have both side effects - they ruin your body and your relationships.  When we look to people, many friendships and relationships break under the strain of being expected to do the impossible - completely fulfill. 

God is the only one who is capable of permanently and completely satisfying us.  He is also the only pure way to fill the God-shaped holes in our souls.  If we selfishly try to force anything else in God's spot, not only will we fail, but we will commit idolatry.  Simply put, idolatry is loving anything or anyone more or in the place of God.  When we try to medicate our negative emotions with food, hobbies, or people, we are making them our gods. 

When you find yourself looking for love in all the wrong places, focus on loving the Lord and letting Him love you.  Because "if we don't love God, we'll love anything."

Puppy Love

I'm not an animal person.  I enjoy eating meat; I have recurring nightmares involving cats attacking me; I have never wanted a dog.  I am, however, a baby person.  I enjoy cuddling, nurturing and playing with every baby I see.  That being said, there is a part of me that softens when I see a puppy. 

The characteristics I find revolting in adult dogs - shedding, bad breath, excessive licking, repulsive odor, jumpiness, crotch-sniffing - seem to slip my mind when I see a cute puppy playfully romping around.  There is just something about a soft, floppy-eared, puppy that makes me happy.

I think it may have something to do with how the puppy relates to his owner.  A puppy will joyfully follow his owner wherever he goes.  The dog may get distracted from time to time, stopping to smell the grass or chase a butterfly, but when the owner calls him, the puppy is reminded of his heart's true desire - to be with his owner - and he comes bounding back.  All a puppy really wants is for his master - in whom he delights - to pay attention to him.

It has occurred to me that's all I really want, too.

I may get distracted from time to time, but when God calls me, I am reminded of my heart's true desire - to be with my Father - and I come bounding back.  Proverbs says, "What a man desires is unfailing love."  And only the Lord is capable of giving us the perfect love we crave.

What's interesting about the relationship between a puppy and his owner, though, is that the owner delights in the puppy just as much as the puppy delights in the owner.  Grown men - reserved men who wear business suits and run companies - will drop to their knees and greet their puppies with open arms and babbling puppy talk, totally disregarding who is around to see them act so childishly.  Owners' hearts swell with excitement when their puppies seem so happy to see them.

I think God feels the same way when we come to Him.  Psalm 149 says, "The Lord delights in His people...Let the saints rejoice in this honor and sing for joy..."

Come to Him today, as a puppy delighting in his master, and experience the Father's love.

God is Love. Not the Other Way Around.

I've noticed more and more frequently that my peers who want nothing to do with Jesus want everything to do with half of Jesus' central teaching - Love your neighbor as yourself.

Don't get me wrong, I am very attracted to the love-rules-all mentality that is sweeping across the globe.  It is replacing apathy with proactivity, divisiveness with peacefulness, and selfishness with selflessness...

Or at least that's what Satan would have us believe it is doing.

In reality, I think this love trend is nothing but a crafty deception.  Sure, subscribers to Jesusless-love have great intentions.  And, if this were a perfect world, their intentions would succeed.  But the Bible verse that says, "God is love," is written that way for a reason.  When man reverses the words to proclaim that Love is God, we're buying right into one of the most sly forms of idolatry Satan ever tempted us with.

After all, how can love be wrong?

When love becomes our god, we start believing that our feelings justify everything we do.  But the Bible speaks to that too, saying, "The heart is deceitful above all else." 

For instance, a lot of people I know who say love is their religion are pretty intolerant people.  If someone like myself were to tell them that I believe the only way to enter heaven is to love Jesus as the one and only God and as the substitute for sin that every human needs, that person would probably get pretty angry.  And they would probably act on those feelings by trying to legislate away my right to pray out loud at a public school, for example.  They would say they were voting that way in order to promote love and unity, but, I definitely don't feel loved in that situation.  I feel discriminated against, actually.  Divisiveness is occurring, and Satan is snickering because we are blind enough to believe that this country is actually promoting peace.

A lot of people who worship love also pride themselves on being pretty selfless people.  And maybe they are some of the time.  But when it comes down to making a choice between loving themselves or loving another, they, like all humans, will choose themselves most of the time.   In the example about praying in public schools, if they were to choose to love the evangelical Christian instead of themselves, they would quietly do a crossword while the Christian prayed for 30 seconds.  Instead, they are choosing to love themselves by demanding that no one talk about Jesus around them.  Selfishness is occurring, and Satan is snickering because we are blind enough to believe that people are capable of being selfless the majority of the time.

To be sure, Christians, left up to their own devices, are no better at promoting peace or selflessness than non-Christians.  The fact is, all humans are self-centered, prideful creatures; neither quality lends itself to the promotion of unity with others.  Call a spade a spade - humans suck and will never be able to muster up enough gusto to love others well. 

If people are going to love others well with any consistency, it is going to take a miracle.  Something supernatural will have to occur.  People will have to be supernaturally empowered to be proactive lovers.  God Himself will have to take up residence in our hearts, guiding our words and actions to be selfless and peaceful. 

But God isn't just going to barge into our hearts like an unannounced house guest.  He's much more of a gentleman than that.  He stands at the door and knocks and waits for us to open the door.  If we slam it in his face, he will quietly knock again.  If we open the door and walk away, expecting good things to follow, we will find our homes as empty as they were before God came knocking.  We have to invite God in.  We have to ask God to love others well through us because we know we can't do it on our own.

We've tried.
Our whole lives.
And we always fail. 

God is love.  And He alone can love people well.
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Reality

It's hard for us to show grace and love to people who disturb our sense of reality. I am thinking, particularly, about having a friend who was supposedly a straight Christian tell me later, after our friendship had dwindled because of distance and time apart, that she was, instead, a gay non-Christian. It threw me for a loop, for sure. It didn't fit my paradigm of who she was. It turned what I thought was reality on its head.

And I had a decision to make.

I could be like most Christians this girl knew and distance myself from her. I could let the fact that I was uncomfortable with her choices dictate how I would treat her - like a villain or a stranger or a fraud.

Or I could love her as Christ loved me - without conditions.

But how does a human do that? We are notorious for being controlled by our feelings, and I was feeling uncomfortable. To be honest, I was even feeling hurt. I know she hadn't purposely betrayed me, but I felt like she was dishonest with me back when our friendship was thriving. I realize that is probably not the case. Most likely, she wasn't scheming to trick me into believing she liked Jesus and boys in high school. But that doesn't change the fact that I felt lied to.

And, yet, God wanted me to love her and to love her well. Actually, He wanted me to love her even better than I myself was capable of doing.

Enter the Holy Spirit.

When the Spirit reminds me that the Lord adores me - and that is an understatement - the more I want to love people well, no matter what they think or do or believe. God doesn't adore me because I accept Christ's grace and because I only make choices that line up with Scripture (Hint: I don't). He adores me because I am His. He made me. I am His. And He loves me because of that fact alone.

And He loves my friend for that reason, too. Just because her perception of truth has changed (and it will continue to change, just as mine will), that doesn't mean she is any less wonderful in God's eyes.

And she shouldn't be viewed as any less wonderful in my eyes either.
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