Come Be Enough

I wish it were socially acceptable for me to handle not getting what I want like my toddler does. 

Allie's main goal in life is to run away from me in crowded and/or dangerous situations.  Are we shopping in a mile-wide department store?  She'll take off as fast as her twelve-inch legs can carry her, round the corner, and never look back.  Are we at an Easter egg hunt with a thousand other people?  She'll weave her way through strangers' legs, disappearing among the masses, totally unconcerned with my whereabouts.   Are we trying to find our car in a busy parking lot?  She'll slip her hand out of mine and run into traffic, cackling because she thinks she's winning the "Get Away From Mommy" game.

But if I ever grab her by her hand in these kinds of situations, look out.

First she says, "No." 
When that doesn't work, she screams, "WALK!"
I explain to her, "You can walk, you just have to hold my hand." 

And then comes the toddler melt down.

Shes starts to yell and cry and plops her bottom on the pavement, implying, "If I can't run in front of cars, I'm at least going to SIT in front of them and embarrass you with my blood-curdling screams!"

She steels her will.  She uses all 20 of her pounds to her advantage, refusing to budge.

I yank her up by her hand to a standing position.

She only has one weapon left in her tantrum arsenal: she goes limp. 
I am left with a child dangling from my hand.
Dead weight.

As I try to keep one eye on her older sister and the other eye on traffic, I shift purses (mine and her sister's), a diaper bag, a cup of coffee, at least one sippy cup, and the car keys to one hand.  Then I scoop up my baby with the other arm and carry the flailing child to the car while she yells "WALK!  WAAAAAAAAAAAALK!" and I yell, "I WIN! I WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!"

Sometimes I feel like acting like a toddler when I don't get what I want.

There are a million ways my heart cries, "More!"  Sometimes I want more love than I'm getting.  Sometimes I want more attention from certain friends.  Sometimes I want to feel more valuable.  Sometimes I want to be a part of something bigger and more worthwhile.  Sometimes I want more responsibility.  Sometimes I want more time to myself.

Whatever I'm desiring at the moment, the feeling in my chest is the same: unsatisfied.  I want more.

So I manipulate and coerce to get more.
I achieve and accomplish to be more.
I volunteer and apply to do more.

But it's never enough.

In Psalm 90:14 the author says to God, "Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days."

God can satisfy.

Psalm 81:13-16 says, "If my people would but listen to me...follow my ways...with honey from the rock I would satisfy [them]."

God wants to satisfy.

Psalm 145:16 says of God, "You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing."

God does satisfy.

So what gives?  Why am I so often unsatisfied if these verses are true? If it is well within this believer's reach, what do I need to do to experience satisfaction?

In a recent conversation with Him, God told me to invite Him to be enough.

He emphasized to me that He wants to fulfill me; I just haven't asked Him to lately (John 16:24).

When I find my heart asking for more, when I find myself feeling empty, depressed, or otherwise unsatisfied, God wants me to say, "Lord, come be enough."

Scripture says He is enough...  Believe it, and ask Him to come be enough for you.

Hope For the Hopeless

I'm not an optimistic person.

I know, I know, those of you who know me are shocked.  The truth is I'd like to be an optimist, I just don't think it will happen.

Although I prefer to call myself a "realist" in lieu of being a self-proclaimed "pessimist", I think it is more accurate to say I don't pretend life is easy.  While it's true that I have a pretty cushy gig as a stay-at-home mom in a first world country, the fact remains that life, to some degree, is hard for everyone on every continent.  And that's because we are all dealing with unmet expectations. 

The orphan on the streets of Ethiopia's impoverished capital is disappointed he can't find food to dull his hunger.

The pastor at a mega church in Memphis, Tennessee, is disheartened to see congregants file out of his church each week, no more excited about the Lord than when they came in.

The young parents are devastated when their three-year-old is killed by a drunk driver.

The corporate manager is discouraged when he is abruptly laid off.

We all get gut-kicked in life.  Things don't work out the way we plan.  We get broadsided by inconveniences and tragedies alike.  Life gets interrupted sometimes.  Our expectations are often left dangling in the wind. 

And we feel hopeless.

We start to believe life will never be good again, or at least not as good as it was.  We simply cannot conceive of how our current disappointment could possibly work out for our good (Romans 8:28). 

We despair that we will never be fulfilled again.  Surely what we had or what we want is what is best for us (Genesis 3:6).  And, yet, God is showing us that we cannot have it (Genesis 3:3)...  "I will never be happy again," plays over and over in our minds, becoming less of a statement of emotion and more of a statement of fact with each repetition.

We become convinced that the pain will never lessen.  How could it?  Everything has changed; there is no going back; the pain will always be...

We cross over from feeling hopeless to acting hopeless...  and Satan smiles. 

He has accomplished his objective. 

When Satan can get believers to buy the lie that things are hopeless, we start living hopeless lives.  We stop living in light of the hope that is Jesus Christ (Titus 2:13).  And, in turn, we stop showing the world why He is worth following.

Contrary to whatever hopeless feelings we may be experiencing, those of us who have a relationship with Jesus have been called to hope.  In Ephesians 1:18, Paul says, "I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which [God the Father] has called you."   Pray that for yourself or anyone else you know who is battling hopelessness.  That chapter goes on to describe the hope to which believers have been called as, "the riches of [God the Father's] glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe."  Our hope is based on the facts that we will receive eternal life in the future AND that we have God's incomparable power on our side in our present circumstances. 

The exact same power that raised Christ from the dead is FOR us in this life (Ephesians 1:20)! 

It's hard for me to feel hopeless about anything when I am living in that truth...  Believers have access to the most genuine hope there is.  It is not fluffy, "think positive", mind-over-matter, "I think I can" garbage.  It is authentic hope that is as trustworthy as the Source from which it comes.  It is real, and we can live in it if we choose.