Come Be Enough

I wish it were socially acceptable for me to handle not getting what I want like my toddler does. 

Allie's main goal in life is to run away from me in crowded and/or dangerous situations.  Are we shopping in a mile-wide department store?  She'll take off as fast as her twelve-inch legs can carry her, round the corner, and never look back.  Are we at an Easter egg hunt with a thousand other people?  She'll weave her way through strangers' legs, disappearing among the masses, totally unconcerned with my whereabouts.   Are we trying to find our car in a busy parking lot?  She'll slip her hand out of mine and run into traffic, cackling because she thinks she's winning the "Get Away From Mommy" game.

But if I ever grab her by her hand in these kinds of situations, look out.

First she says, "No." 
When that doesn't work, she screams, "WALK!"
I explain to her, "You can walk, you just have to hold my hand." 

And then comes the toddler melt down.

Shes starts to yell and cry and plops her bottom on the pavement, implying, "If I can't run in front of cars, I'm at least going to SIT in front of them and embarrass you with my blood-curdling screams!"

She steels her will.  She uses all 20 of her pounds to her advantage, refusing to budge.

I yank her up by her hand to a standing position.

She only has one weapon left in her tantrum arsenal: she goes limp. 
I am left with a child dangling from my hand.
Dead weight.

As I try to keep one eye on her older sister and the other eye on traffic, I shift purses (mine and her sister's), a diaper bag, a cup of coffee, at least one sippy cup, and the car keys to one hand.  Then I scoop up my baby with the other arm and carry the flailing child to the car while she yells "WALK!  WAAAAAAAAAAAALK!" and I yell, "I WIN! I WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!"

Sometimes I feel like acting like a toddler when I don't get what I want.

There are a million ways my heart cries, "More!"  Sometimes I want more love than I'm getting.  Sometimes I want more attention from certain friends.  Sometimes I want to feel more valuable.  Sometimes I want to be a part of something bigger and more worthwhile.  Sometimes I want more responsibility.  Sometimes I want more time to myself.

Whatever I'm desiring at the moment, the feeling in my chest is the same: unsatisfied.  I want more.

So I manipulate and coerce to get more.
I achieve and accomplish to be more.
I volunteer and apply to do more.

But it's never enough.

In Psalm 90:14 the author says to God, "Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days."

God can satisfy.

Psalm 81:13-16 says, "If my people would but listen to me...follow my ways...with honey from the rock I would satisfy [them]."

God wants to satisfy.

Psalm 145:16 says of God, "You open your hand and satisfy the desires of every living thing."

God does satisfy.

So what gives?  Why am I so often unsatisfied if these verses are true? If it is well within this believer's reach, what do I need to do to experience satisfaction?

In a recent conversation with Him, God told me to invite Him to be enough.

He emphasized to me that He wants to fulfill me; I just haven't asked Him to lately (John 16:24).

When I find my heart asking for more, when I find myself feeling empty, depressed, or otherwise unsatisfied, God wants me to say, "Lord, come be enough."

Scripture says He is enough...  Believe it, and ask Him to come be enough for you.

The Big One

Dear Allie,

Today is your first birthday, or, as I like to refer to it, the anniversary of the day I was no longer pregnant.  Thanks for that.  As I think back over the year, I realize it was pretty crazy.  I figure now is a good time to recap that crazy.  

You were born 8 days before your due date.  I owe you big time for this.  You'll know what I mean when you are 38 weeks pregnant.  You entered the world in dramatic fashion, giving us a scare when the umbilical cord wrapped around your neck.  You couldn't get out no matter how much I pushed.  Your oxygen level dropped, and the wonderful doctor and nurses had to work quickly to deliver you.  The NICU team was called in and helped you begin to breathe sufficiently on your own.  Thankfully, that didn't take too much coaxing.


We got you home, and you slept for 3 months.  I am not kidding.  You only woke up to eat, and even then you kept your eyes closed the whole time so as not to waste any precious moments being awake between the end of a feeding and your return to sleep.  Your Dad and I greatly appreciated your restfulness.

When you were 2 months old, we dedicated you to God before our church family.  What that really means is your dad and I promised God that we would do everything in our power to teach you about the love and grace of Jesus.  And by making this vow in front of our family and church family, we were asking them to help us fulfill that commitment.  I am happy to report that during your first year of life our family and friends have done just that.  We are surrounded by many people who genuinely love Jesus AND you.  Remember that.  

When you were 3 months old, one of the most painful things ever happened to me.  Kidney stones.  We took several trips to the ER, and I had two surgeries to remove the stones, but the worst part was I had to quit nursing you.  I was on an array of medications that would not have been safe for you.  It was when I had to quit nursing you that I realized just how deep our bond was.  I can't really explain it, but I think nursing was a physical representation of how emotionally inseparable a mom and newborn are.  I'm already excited for you to experience that connection with your child one day, Lord willing.

For the next several months, you enjoyed learning new things like sitting up and eating solid foods.  The highlight was watching you interact with your sister.  To say Lexi adores you would be an understatement.  She has loved you since before you were born.  I don't think a day has gone by that she hasn't covered you in sisterly affection.  And as you grew, you began to reciprocate that love.  These days you get up earlier than she does.  I've tried to convince you that sleeping in is the way to go, but you're just not buying it.  Anyway, in the mornings I feed you and let you play on the floor while I try to shock my system into alertness with a cup of coffee.  You are content with this routine, but the second you hear your sister coming down the stairs in the morning, you explode with excitement.  You kick your feet, stretch out your arms, and babble "Hi!" to Lexi over and over with a wide grin.   You love her dearly, and I am praying it will always be that way.

When you were about 8 months old, you got a bad cold.  It wasn't too worrisome the first couple of days, but then you started coughing and struggling to breathe.  You wound up in the hospital with a couple of fierce infections.  You were there 4 days, and God taught me a lot about blessings in disguise during that time.  I never left your side, so we shared lots of sweet, cuddly moments in that quiet hospital room.  Your grandparents kept Lexi, and I didn't have anything else distracting me from caring for you.  You were a trooper through all the treatments.   Your easygoing nature will serve you well in the future, too.

Now that you are 1 year old, you are on the cusp of a lot of big milestones.  Your babbling discourses will soon be intelligible conversations.  Your scooting around the house will give way to walking.  But what I am most looking forward to are the exciting new ways you enrich our family just by being you.

And the potty training.  Just let me know when you want to get started on that.

Love Forver,
Mama

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His Grace is Sufficient

I am hanging out in the pediatric wing of Baptist Memorial Hospital. I'm here with Allie, my 8 month old. She had a fever with a mean cough and runny nose for a couple of days. Then the cough turned into a wheezing, and it was clear she was having trouble catching her breath. So I took her to the pediatrician, pretty much expecting him to tell me it was just a bad cold. He didn't.

After listening to her lungs, doing a complete blood count, and measuring oxygen levels before and after an Albuteral treatment, the doctor said she had bronchiolitis. Basically, the lining of her airways were swollen, making it harder for her to breathe. This was caused by a nasty cold virus called (RSV). The virus also caused her airways to become infected, resulting in pneumonia. She had a ton of mucus in her chest, and because she is so little, she doesn't have the muscle power to cough that crud up. So her little swollen lungs filled with mucus.

Our pediatrician calmly told me to drive Allie directly to the hospital. Oddly, I never experienced any anxiety. I was not worried at all. Don't get me wrong, I was concerned. I just wasn't emotional about it. I felt like I was being sent on an adventure.

When we got to the ER, the receptionist pulled up the order from our pediatrician. As he read it, his eyes got big, and he said, "Oh, they are going to call her right back." I thought, "Wow, he must think she's in pretty bad shape," but I never got overly excited about it. And when the ER doctor told us we were definitely being admitted, I didn't panic. When I saw my baby wearing oxygen, an IV, a heart monitor, and an oxygen monitor, I wasn't overwhelmed with sadness.


When we made it through the first night, and the pediatrician checked her the next morning, and she said, optimistically, we would not be going home for 3 more days, I never felt scared.

I began to wonder if my lack of worrying meant I was a bad parent. I began to worry because I wasn't worried. I wasn't the mom who was constantly crying and too worried to sleep. And part of me felt like I should've been that worked up. But then a friend reminded me of a discussion our Sunday School class had two weeks ago.

We were talking about joy and how God wants us to be joyful in all circumstances. Our class batted around possible definitions for joy and wondered how one could be joyful in the midst of terrible circumstances, like when your infant is hospitalized with a severe illness. We decided that joy is an inner peace and confidence in God's goodness and His sovereignty, no matter what happens. One of my classmates wisely noted that we can't imagine ourselves having the capability of being joyful when the worst is happening to us. It's not until we are actually in the tragic situation that God, through His sufficient grace, offers us the ability to choose joy. Make no mistake, it's a choice. God doesn't force joy into our hearts. But He offers us the truth that He is both good and sovereign, completely in control of the situation. We can choose to believe God and be comforted, or we can choose to not believe God and be anxious.

Maybe my sense of peace throughout Allie's hospitalization was because I trusted God with my child's health. I'd like to think so. It's either that, or I am emotionally deranged. You be the judge.


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Milestones: Allie's Half Birthday

Allie Grace turned 6 months old yesterday. I know, it seems like she just got here. I took her for her check up today, and, no surprise, she is perfect! She weighed in at 16 pounds, 8 ounces, which is 70th percentile, and was 26.5 inches long, putting her in the 80th percentile. And she has a big head. At least that's what the doctor says every time I take either child for a check up. Then he reinforces that a big head is a good thing. I think it depends on who you ask... Pediatricians like big heads because it means there is a growing brain under there. Moms hate big heads because it means episiotomies or c-sections. I know, too much information.

Anyway, I never think of Allie as being above average when it comes to her size. I always feel like she is petite. Her friends seem bigger than her, they seem to eat more than her, and her sister was a lot bigger than her at this age (try 18 lbs, 27 inches long, 95th percentile).

She's sitting up (with support), rolling over (one way), and two teeth are ALMOST ready to poke through. She's a beautiful, curious, babbling girl, and I've enjoyed having Allie in our family the past 6 months (really, she's been in our family for about 16 months, but that's a whole different subject), and I look forward to watching her grow and develop over the next 6 months.

Allie - 3 months

I know I am biased, but, OH MY GOSH, HOW CUTE IS SHE?!

You Live, But You Don't Always Learn

In Allie's short, little life, more times than I can count, I have been startled by her blood-curdling scream. I am talking about a shrill that instantly communicates I AM IN PAIN!!!!!! And every time I rush to her side, I discover the culprit is herself...with a fist full of her own hair...pulling it as hard as she possibly can...with NO IDEA how to stop the pain.

Lexi did this once.

Once.

I'm not saying one of my children is more intelligent than the other, even though one of them pulled her hair FOUR TIMES during ONE diaper change last week. In fact, I am going to chalk Allie's hair-pulling pattern up to a couple of things that are in no way related to her IQ. First, she was born with a head full of hair, which she had no control over. Second, all babies are born with a grasping reflex, which means she can't help but to grab on to her soft hair whenever she happens to touch it. And third, I don't think she is old enough to be aware that she has hands, that she can move said hands, that she has hair, or that she can pull said hair whenever she wants to. If she's still having these episodes in five years, then I'll start worrying about her IQ... and where to get realistic children's wigs.

5 Weeks

Allie turned 5 weeks old Saturday. Her birth seems both forever ago and just yesterday, all at the same time. I still vividly remember the delivery, but I am also fully aware that she is growing and changing and about to blow through some milestones. She's started smiling over the past couple of days, and today she's made some purposeful coos. And as I look at my firstborn, I know my second will be 2 1/4 years old in no time. Although I very much enjoy my toddler, part of me hates that the baby stage can't last forever. Allie is so small and cuddly, and her head smells so good (unlike her neck, which gets regurgitated milk trapped in the folds, thus producing a substance with the odor of expired cheese)!

Here are some pics from the park Saturday. Lexi enjoys the swings, and Allie enjoys sleeping.

This Time Around...

Everyone always says having 2 kids is more than twice the work. Maybe it's because I am only 3 weeks into this, or maybe it's because our second-born is our laid back child, but I feel WAY more put together emotionally this time around than I did when Lexi was born.

The first 3 months of Lexi's life I was a basket case. The sheer stress of having a colicky baby scream her head off everyday for 3 months is enough to make anyone batty. She acted like she was in pain (probably acid reflux), and there was NOTHING I could do to soothe my newborn. Combine that with the sleep deprivation and physical exhaustion that accompany breast feeding, and I am sure I was certifiably insane.

Baby #2, on the other hand, is as laid back as they come. She sleeps about 20 hours a day and only cries when she's hungry. I still don't get any sleep, as I have to be up all night feeding Allie and up all day with Lexi, but I don't feel as exhausted as I did when Lexi was born. Maybe it's because I switched from Folger's with Lexi to Maxwell House with Allie...

I'm sure having 2 1/4 yrs of mothering experience under my belt helps with my confidence, too. I have an arsenal of baby care knowledge to use on Allie, and, being the people-pleaser she is, she responds well to all of it.

And the amount of time I spend worrying about Allie is non-existent compared to how much I stressed over each and every decision I made with Lexi. I haven't thought twice about SIDS, or proper car seat tightness, or letting her sleep in our bed occasionally. No, I am not being more reckless with Allie. I am just more comfortable in doing my best and letting God control the outcome. Her crib is completely SIDS proof, we don't smoke, and she sleeps on her back... I could still choose to worry about her mysteriously dying in the middle of the night, but I'm not this time.

The true test to see if I have completely chilled out will be when I have to leave Allie in someone else's care for an extended period of time, which probably won't be until next year, when I'm done nursing her. Will I micro-manage that person, demanding that they do everything my way in my absence, and then worry the entire time I'm away that they AREN'T doing everything how I told them to, like I did with Lexi? Or will I barely stop the car long enough for Allie to get out? We'll see!

Daddy's Milk

Last night I went to a movie, leaving Elian at home with both girls. At one point, Allie started crying. Lexi turned to Elian and said, "You need to feed her," to which he responded, "Yeah, I'm going to feed her." With great surprise in her voice, Lexi asked, "You have milk in your boobies?!"

Um...What?

So Allie is almost two weeks old and continues to baffle me with her extraordinary ability to sleep. Except for when she's eating, which is every 2-3 hours, Allie is probably only awake about 2 hrs/day. Um... is this normal?

Our first child hated to sleep and would still choose to stay up all night if we let her. As a baby Lexi would only sleep during the day if someone held her. She didn't sleep through the night until she was 9 months old, and she's always resisted napping. We knew these were not "normal" sleep habits for a baby. And then we had Allie.

This kid literally sleeps all say and all night, waking up only to eat, with her eyes closed so she doesn't waste any precious time falling back asleep as soon as her tummy is full. We've tried to wake her up, to no avail. So we wait until she wakes up on her own, which is once or twice in a 24 hour period, and then try to stimulate her enough to keep her up for a couple of hours. Last night that plan back fired. After she was up for 1.5 hours, she was apparently too tired to fall asleep and instead spent 6 hrs being completely unhappy, unable to find a satisfactory way to put herself back to sleep. So today I have let her sleep whenever she wants. And she has. All day. Minus feedings and one 1.5 hr stretch that included her pooping all the way up her back, thus necessitating an impromptu bath. Which she hated.

And did I mention she can sleep anywhere? On my bed, on the couch, in the swing, in the bouncy seat, in someone's arms, in her crib, in the car, AND in her bassinet. Um...What? That's 7 more places than Lexi could sleep. And if I need to move her from one of these locations to another, she STILL doesn't wake up.

And Allie can sleep through anything. Through tornado sirens, thunderstorms, TV shows, laundry buzzers, doorbells, Elian's snoring, Lexi crying/shrieking/talking at an incredibly high volume inches from her face, and Lexi hugging/kissing/holding her a thousand times a day.

So, is THIS normal newborn sleep? I'm so thankful Lexi came first and Allie came second so we weren't spoiled to begin with.

Allie Grace Levatino: The Birth Story

I am happy to announce that A) I am no longer pregnant, and 2. Allie decided to come early! Here's how it went down.

Thursday, July 16th - I went to the OB that morning for a regular check up. He said I was 3 cm and 60% effaced. He also said, "Let me encourage the membranes", a statement I am still unsure of how to define. I don't know what his magic fingers did, but all day Thursday and Friday I had contractions that felt like bad menstrual cramps. I wasn't in extreme pain, and the contractions weren't timeable, but by Friday morning I was convinced I would have the baby within 36 hours.

Friday, July 17th - After a day full of more frequent cramping, I decided I was pretty uncomfortable. So we put Lexi to bed, called the grandparents to come stay with her, and Elian and I left for the hospital around 9 PM. The triage nurse examined me and said I was 5-6 cms and 80% effaced. The admission process began, and by 10:45 PM I was in a delivery room having my water broken. Within 15 minutes I was 7-8 cms and experiencing THE MOST PAINFUL CONTRACTIONS KNOWN TO WOMAN. I basically thought I was going to die. The contractions were coming one right on top of the other, and I was afraid I might've been too far along to get an epidural... The anesthesiologist was called and FINALLY showed up around 11:30 PM. She introduced me to the student anesthesiologist who would be working with her. I was not thrilled at all to be having a newbie doing a potentially paralyzing procedure on me, but, he had to learn some time, right? Maybe if I wasn't so afraid of confrontation I would have demanded the real anesthesiologist do the job, but that's an entirely different post.

I had an epidural with Lexi, when I was 1 cm and barely contracting, and I never felt a thing. This is important. Because this time around I not only felt the catheter going all the way down my spine, but it HURT! Between the contractions and the epidural administration, I was screaming loud enough for the nurse across the hall, in mid-delivery, to leave her patient to come check on me. I was convinced the whole process was going to end with me paralyzed for life, but apparently, I was a pretty standard case of forcing an epidural to work on a woman who is nearly too far along to get one at all. I'm sure all the screaming made the student anesthesiologist completely question his choice of profession, and I wouldn't be surprised if he dropped out of the medical field all together.

Saturday, July 18th - They spent about 30 minutes upping the pain medication until I was finally numb on both sides of my body. Meanwhile, I finished dilating to 10 cms and started pushing at 12:30 AM. With Lexi the epidural left me with no sensation at all - I had to be told when I was having a contraction and had no idea if I was pushing effectively or not. This time I could feel some pressure and was able to sense when a contraction was coming. I guess this was helpful, as the doctor thought I was pushing well. I pushed for 1 hour with Lexi, and the second delivery is supposed to go even faster. But not this time. I pushed for 2 hours when all was said and done. The nurse noticed pretty early on that Allie had the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck. This didn't seem to alarm her, especially since Allie's heart rate was good. But after an hour and 45 minutes of pushing, Allie's heart rate dropped and wasn't recovering between pushes. That's when the doctor calmly said, "Ok, baby is getting tired, we need to get this baby out." The nurse began buzzing around the room, dressing the doctor in surgical garb, handing her instruments, and making phone calls for vacuums. Within 5 minutes I had been given an episiotomy, pushed twice, and, with the help of a suck from the vacuum, Allie's head popped out. The doctor snipped the cord around her neck and pulled her out at 2:27 AM. They placed her on my chest for 30 seconds before whisking her over to the incubator to check her out. It didn't take long for the nurse to realize Allie wasn't pinking up. Although she was crying and taking plenty of air into her lungs, she wasn't maintaining her air on her own - a side effect of having an umbilical cord wrapped around the neck. The nurse slipped an oxygen mask on her and picked up the phone to call NICU. A 3 person team of NICU nurses barged into the room, calm and cheery despite the perceived seriousness of the situation. They looked Allie over and monitored her for 5 minutes as she breathed in the pure oxygen. Thankfully, that's all it took for her to begin breathing properly on her own.

So after a long, roller coaster ride of labor, little Allie was born on July 18th - 8 days early! She is a sweet-tempered, laid back baby who LOVES to sleep. Lexi is enamored with Allie, and loves to kiss and hold her. I'm not sure how I will survive these first few months of having to be up all night nursing Allie and all day chasing Lexi, but I am thankful that God has blessed me with the privilege to be the mother of 2 sweet girls!

Anna

Last week Elian asked me if I was in love with the name Anna. I told him no. He then suggested we rehash the name debate to see if we could agree on a different name. Historically, we have NEVER agreed on girl names (except that once, when we named Lexi, although, Elian still wishes we had actually named her Lexi instead of Alexis). Fully convinced playing the name game would be futile, but being a little dissatisfied with Anna myself, I consulted a couple of baby name websites once more.

I spent about 30 minutes making a short list of names I liked. If memory serves me correctly, which it may or may not at this point in the pregnancy, all the names I wrote down this time were on my previous list. And we all know how that turned out - Anna was the only name we could both "live with". But who wants to "settle" on their child's name?

I showed Elian my new list, and the only name he liked was Allie. We tossed it around in our minds, looked up possible spellings and meanings, and decided we both liked it better than Anna. And it just so happens that Elian's paternal grandmother was named Allie.

With the new name feeling right, we now had to decide how to spell it. Ali, Allie, Alli, Ally, or Alley. We narrowed it down to the first two spellings. Elian liked Ali, and I liked Allie. We thought about it for a few more days, and neither one of us came around to the other's preferred spelling. So we let our family vote. And, in the end, our younger daughter's name has finally been decided: Allie Grace Levatino. That's good news, as I am now past the 36 week mark, and I was 2 cm at my last OB appointment. That means Allie could make her debut any time now...HOORAY!

38 Days Left

Days remaining until Anna's due date have now dipped into the 30's. It seems all I can think about is her impending birth, and how I wish it was more impending than it is.

I'm definitely aware of my size. Not in a self-loathing kind of way, but in a wow-this-is-annoyingly-uncomfortable kind of way. I'd rather gain 75 lbs and only be pregnant for 4 months than gain 35ish and be pregnant for 9.5 months.

Supposedly, there are women out there who LOVE being pregnant. I read about it. In a book. (Dodgeball reference, for those who don't know.) I've actually met one of these women in real life. And if you've never had a baby before, but are considering having one in the future, I sincerely hope you are one of those freaks that loves being pregnant. But I am not.

Nights are especially fun right now. I wake up often-every 1-2 hrs; more often if Lexi is in a calling out kind of mood. Most of the time I just need to roll over to get comfortable be able to tolerate resting again. The pregnant lady roll is more like a workout than a casual toss. First, I take a deep breath. Then I let out a grunt as I use all 4 limbs to clumsily move my body toward the other side of the bed. And it all ends with a whine as my hamstring and nerves in my belly light up like they are on fire.

But it never ends there.

Somehow, Anna puts more pressure on my bladder when I lay down. So every time I wake up to roll over, I HAVE to go pee or I can't fall back asleep. And every time I sit up/lay back down, I HAVE to pop a Tums to combat the ensuing heartburn. And once or twice each night, just for giggles, I become keenly aware of how STARVING I am. To the point that I have considered eating Elian's arm just because I didn't think I could make it to the kitchen before dying of hunger.

Some people say all this waking up during the last trimester is God's/nature's way of preparing pregnant women for the sleepless nights that come with a newborn. I think that's crap. God knows pregnant women need rest to grow and deliver the baby. And God knows that no matter what kind of sleep-depriving boot camp He could come up with for moms-to-be, our bodies and minds are never prepared for the insanity-inducing lack of sleep that babies bring with them.

32 Weeks' Belly Pictures

Here they are, in all their glory:

32 Weeks

So, I'm over this whole pregnancy thing. There are not many pleasant things about being 8 months pregnant, but I tried to think of at least one last night. And the one that made me feel the best is the fact that I'm no longer vomiting every morning. That's optimistic, right? Well, guess where my Rice Krispies ended up halfway through breakfast. I'll give you a hint: NOT IN MY STOMACH.

I've also had this pulled groin/hamstring combo going on for over a week now. I have no idea how it happened, but it isn't healing. Apparently, weighing 25 more pounds than you're supposed to, and gaining more everyday, isn't conducive to that sort of thing.

The heartburn is worse this time around too. The wives' tales say you get heartburn when you're having a girl or a baby with a lot of hair. Anna must have an afro.

I'm due in 8 weeks, which feels like an eternity. Over the weekend I had a couple of signs of preterm labor, but they were the kind of signs that can mean a lot of things. I called the nurse, just to be reassured, and she said I could just be dehydrated or have a bladder infection. She told me to not worry about it unless the symptoms got worse or more obvious labor symptoms, like Anna's head poking out, developed. The symptoms didn't last all day, but they have been coming and going since Saturday morning. Selfishly, I would love to have Anna today, but, that's obviously not best for her. She can come in 5 weeks and still be considered term. So, think 5, everybody.

I'll post 32 week pictures later...

Anna's Room

Anna's room is coming along nicely. My sweet mom, who has painted every room in our house except our bedroom, volunteered to paint Anna's room this week. And it turned out beautifully, if I do say so myself. We were slightly more creative than we were when my mom painted Lexi's room, which is pastel purple on all four walls. This time around we decided to stencil flowers on one wall and paint the other three walls a light green (lightened Seafoam, to be exact). We'd never stenciled before, so that was an adventure. I've lost track of the number of Hobby Lobby and Wal-Mart runs we had to make, but everything worked out in the end. Here are some pics:

The flower wall!

Close ups of stenciled flowers.


Flower wall meets Seafoam wall...which is little bit darker than this pic makes it appear.

The finished product, with a dresser we may or may not keep.

I'm happy with how the paint turned out and excited to go bedding hunting. I'm also going to look for a solid pink or green fabric to make a curtain out of and to recover some ugly cushions on a white glider we have for the room. The dresser came from Pottery Barn Kids, but we don't think it is big enough for Anna to continue to use as a teenager. It'd be nice if this was the last dresser we ever bought for her! We'll see. We also have a white crib we need to assemble that friends lent us. Thanks, Miehes!

Pregnancy Update

I've gotten lazy with my pregnancy posts. I am 25 weeks along today and have yet to post pics from 20 weeks and 24 weeks. Here they are, in all their glory!








Apparently I gained 7.5 lbs between 20 and 24 weeks. My doctor, who I love, by the way, said, "It's not a big deal...but let's try and only gain 12 more lbs the rest of the pregnancy." (Insert my silence). 12 more lbs? The baby herself will be gaining 6-7 lbs. Plus, my will power to cut out sweets is non-existent.

Actually, that's an understatement.

At the end of the month I'll have my routine tests - gestational diabetes screening, another AIDS test, an anemia test - and another ultrasound to make sure my placenta is on board with the idea that Anna needs to come out first, not second.

What's In a Name?

Naming a person is serious business. Whatever name a baby is given at birth will theoretically follow it for the rest of it's life, for better or for worse. Elian and I found it easy to agree upon a boy name, Connor, before we knew Lexi was a girl. When we found out we were having a girl, we searched thousands upon thousands of names and came up with a very short list called "Names We Don't Hate". I don't know why, but neither of us really likes girl names. To finally settle on one, Alexis, was a miracle in and of itself. And now we have to settle on another. Boo.

When I sent out the email last week saying our second child is a girl, I asked people to reply with possible names. My best friend from grade school, Amanda, did such a good job dreaming up names for us, I thought I'd post her ideas here. Although the list is long, it is hilarious, so keep reading. Because several are "inside jokes", I'll explain them in [ ] if necessary.

40 Ways to Name a Girl

1. Oprah

2. Fudge [Amanda's cat's name]

3. Be creative with your initials. KMV would be pronounced kim-vee (not to be confused with the popular Korean dish Kimchi).

4. Kimchi

5. Amanda or any variation thereof – Manda, Nanda, Amanda Lee, Amanda Loo, etc. (Plus, I think that Amanda and Lexi has a nice ring to it).

6. Leslie. This would be especially fun when other toddlers try to speak to both Lexi and Leslie because they would probably pronounce them both “Lessy”. [Amanda's sister's name]

7. Name her after both her parents: Kellian or Elikel.

8. Consider pig Latin when naming her after her mother: Ellykay. Sounds like it would fit beautifully there in the south.

9. Make it a name that big sis can relate to: Tasha, Uniqua, Tyrone, etc. [Backyardigans characters]

10. Name her after her grandmothers: Shirley Mrs. Levatino. [People used to mistakenly call my mom, Sheila, Shirley]

11. Name her after her uncle. Daniel easily turns into Danielle.

12. Pay attention to things you encounter throughout the day: Pillow, Colgate, Suave, Lever 2000, Rice Krispies, Sedan, Story Time, Cashier, Hot Dog, Mr. Clean, your neighbor, junk mail, hugs, sippy cup, etc.

13. Remember the Alamo.

14. Choose your favorite season. If Spring is not the most beautiful name to you but happens to be your favorite season choose a different language: Primavera, Printemps, Fruhling.

15. Give your child the opportunity to have her name featured in a popular song: Leila, Peggy Sue, Maggie May, Billie Jean, Maria, Mandy, Michelle, Mustang Sally, Georgia, Jesse’s Girl, etc.

16. Consider naming her after the female half of a famous duo: Jill, Jane, Bonnie, Cher, etc.

17. Get biblical, but don’t use one of the common names. Do we really need another Rachel or another Mary? Think Bathsheba.

18. Animated Disney movies can be a great source of inspiration. What little girl doesn’t want to be a princess? Ariel, Belle, Jasmine, Nala, Mulan, Cinderella, Snow White and Pocahantas are a few of the faves.

19. Choose your favorite female character from your favorite book. This could lead to an influx of girls named Hermione, so be sure to consider some older classics or childhood favorites as well.

20. Think like a statesman. Presidents have daughters too, so why not look to them for inspiration? In recent years we’ve been familiar with Chelsea, Jenna, Barbara, Sasha and Malia, but there have also been first daughters named Abigail, Susanna, Elizabeth, Eliza, Maria, Louisa, Lincoya, Betsy, Lucy, Mary, Anna, Letitia, Anne, Alice, Julia, Pearl, Sarah, Octavia, Margaret, Martha, Ellen, Frances, Ruth, Esther, Marion, Katherine, Ida, Ethel, Helen, Eleanor, Arabella, Caroline, Lynda, Patricia, Julie, Susan, Amy, Maureen, Christine, Patti, Pauline and Dorothy. Yes. I did do my research on this one.

21. Let the baby name herself. Warning: You could end up with a child named Ggglugggaaa.

22. Create her destiny for her. This does not mean you should name her Destiny (Les has a theory that any child named Destiny was unplanned and born out of wedlock). This does mean that you can write her future. If you want her to stay in the safe, nerdy circles, name her Frodo. If you want her in the hippy crowd, name her Moonbeam. If you want her to be a soccer superstar, name her Mia. If you want her to cure cancer, name her Doctor. You get the idea here.

23. Turn a boy’s name into a girl’s name. Why can’t a girl be called Charlie? Sure maybe you’ll opt for a spelling like Charly or Charli, but in the end what you’ve got is a girl named Charlie. Billy, Bobby, Danny, Benny, Matty, Marty, etc. The key for this to work is that the boy’s name must end with a long eeeee sound. I forbid you from naming your daughter Dennis, for example.

24. Brangelina.

25. Consider repetition, Lulu, Lala, Kiki, Mimi, C.C., Booboo, etc.

26. Give her a bunch of last names, so she sounds like an important firm of some type. Vreeland could certainly be incorporated. I would also like to recommend Sadler. [Amanda's last name]

27. Naming her after a musical instrument might make her more whimsical. Mandolin, Ukulele, Harpsichord and Timpani are all very nice.

28. Consider combining a boy’s and girl’s name. Timberly or Kimothy.

29. It is popular to name girls after flowers, but be unique. Don’t go for the obvious Lily, Daisy, Rose or Violet. Think Marigold, Hyacinth, Rhododendron, Tulip, Carnation or Crabgrass.

30. Name her after a city. It could be your favorite city or the city where she was conceived. If she was conceived at home, I would consider shortening the name to Olive. London, Sydney, Roma, Paris, Sofia, Memphis, Lexington, Waldorf, Helena, Savannah and El Paso are all lovely.

31. Consider what words her name might rhyme with, so you can anticipate whether other children will be able to make fun of her name. You might be thinking, for example, “Hey! What about Bart? That rhymes with smart; she’ll be praised constantly!” Hold up there just one moment. Bart also rhymes with fart. Please cross Bart off the list.

32. You could just go ahead and beat the other kids to the punch, though, and name her Fart.

33. Adjectives can make great names too. Happy, Lovely, Bonita, Sunny, Hearty and Explicit.

34. Barbie had friends with the beautiful names of Midge and Skipper.

35. Name her after your favorite ice cream topping: Cherry, Caramel, Chiquita, Sprinkles, etc.

36. Remember: If she sounds French, she sounds fancy. Chloe, Sophie, Simone, Baguette.

37. Remember: If she sounds German, she sounds scary. Helga, Theckla, Wilhelmina, Kindergarten.

38. Name her after your favorite herpetologist.

39. Quick: What’s your favorite color?

40. Go back to number one. You know it’s what your heart wants.

16 Weeks

It's been a month since I posted belly pics, so here they are:




I'm not sure how much weight I've gained so far because I wasn't told how much I weighed on my first OB visit... But I think I gained 5 lbs since the last pics. Interesting.

My nausea has almost completely subsided, praise God. I only vomited once last week :) The only physical discomfort now is the inability to breathe through my nose about 12 hrs each night. I think it is a combo of the weather making my sinuses go haywire and the pregnancy making the inside of my nose swell. Lovely.

On a better note, we have the ultrasound to check out the baby's goodies in 3 weeks! I am excited. When we saw Lexi on ultrasound and found out she was a girl, I fell in love with her. She was no longer an impersonal being supposedly inside of me. She was a specific person, my daughter. I saw her individual vertebrae, her toes, the 4 chambers of her heart, the profile of her nose and mouth - everything. She was beautiful and perfect and our intimate relationship really began that day. I am looking forward to experiencing the same connection with our next child.

12 Weeks Down

Yesterday was the 12 week mark for pregnancy #2. Whew. They tell me most people are done vomiting at 13 weeks, which sheds some hope on things. However, with Lexi, I threw up until about 20 weeks... So we'll see. I've already gained some weight this time around, where as with Lexi I lost weight initially and didn't gain any until 20 weeks. I also started 10 lbs heavier this time around. Somewhere between birthing Lexi (and coming back down to my pre-pregnancy weight immediately) and conceiving Baby #2, I picked up 10 lbs of pizza and ice cream, about which I have no regrets. I've gained two more pounds in the last 12 weeks due to the insatiable appetite pregnancy affords and my incredibly carb-laden diet. I'm just not that excited about meat and vegetables, but grains and fruits and desserts are right up my ally.

Anyway, here are pics from when I was 12 weeks along with Lexi:


And here are the pics from being 12 weeks along the second time around:



Ummm, wow. I'd chalk my big belly up to having twins (or quintuplets), but we've already had an ultrasound that said there is only one baby in there. And at my appointment last week, the nurse said the baby's heartbeat was soft, meaning she thought the baby was small. Hmm. I guess I've run out of reasons for the dramatic difference in bulbousness this time around. Except for the tried and true, "The second time you always show sooner because all those muscles were stretched out the first time." Sounds good to me!