38 Days Left

Days remaining until Anna's due date have now dipped into the 30's. It seems all I can think about is her impending birth, and how I wish it was more impending than it is.

I'm definitely aware of my size. Not in a self-loathing kind of way, but in a wow-this-is-annoyingly-uncomfortable kind of way. I'd rather gain 75 lbs and only be pregnant for 4 months than gain 35ish and be pregnant for 9.5 months.

Supposedly, there are women out there who LOVE being pregnant. I read about it. In a book. (Dodgeball reference, for those who don't know.) I've actually met one of these women in real life. And if you've never had a baby before, but are considering having one in the future, I sincerely hope you are one of those freaks that loves being pregnant. But I am not.

Nights are especially fun right now. I wake up often-every 1-2 hrs; more often if Lexi is in a calling out kind of mood. Most of the time I just need to roll over to get comfortable be able to tolerate resting again. The pregnant lady roll is more like a workout than a casual toss. First, I take a deep breath. Then I let out a grunt as I use all 4 limbs to clumsily move my body toward the other side of the bed. And it all ends with a whine as my hamstring and nerves in my belly light up like they are on fire.

But it never ends there.

Somehow, Anna puts more pressure on my bladder when I lay down. So every time I wake up to roll over, I HAVE to go pee or I can't fall back asleep. And every time I sit up/lay back down, I HAVE to pop a Tums to combat the ensuing heartburn. And once or twice each night, just for giggles, I become keenly aware of how STARVING I am. To the point that I have considered eating Elian's arm just because I didn't think I could make it to the kitchen before dying of hunger.

Some people say all this waking up during the last trimester is God's/nature's way of preparing pregnant women for the sleepless nights that come with a newborn. I think that's crap. God knows pregnant women need rest to grow and deliver the baby. And God knows that no matter what kind of sleep-depriving boot camp He could come up with for moms-to-be, our bodies and minds are never prepared for the insanity-inducing lack of sleep that babies bring with them.