Who's Really in Control?

I'll just go ahead and tell you that Elian and I think we'd be perfectly happy if I never become pregnant again. Don't get me wrong, we LOVE our children and realize as fully as humans can how enormously blessed we are to have had the opportunity to have not one, but two babies. But we also HATE it when I'm pregnant. From the sickness to the fatigue to the all around discomfort, neither Elian nor I feel the need to revisit that particular state.

Given that I am 26 and he is 31, it is understandable that my doctor is hesitant to do anything permanent in the way of birth control. Too many young couples end up regretting the decision. So she suggested that we either continue to take the pill or consider an IUD. Both work in similar ways. And one of those ways is to prevent an "accidentally" fertilized egg from being able to attach to the uterine wall, effectively killing the egg.

If you believe, like we do, that life begins at conception, then what is happening, practically speaking, should be called abortion. This conclusion is not new to me. I've thought about it a lot over the years. But I've always quickly suppressed this knowledge so I could continue to "control" whether or not we procreate. I've feared getting off birth control just like any sane person would fear winding up with 20 kids. The way I see it, though, is we only have 2 options if we want to honor the sanctity of life: use barrier methods or get fixed.

So I find myself at a crossroads. I feel the Holy Spirit pricking my conscience once again, telling me to stop using abortifacient contraceptives. And I have a choice. Will I let the fear of what could happen while not on the pill stop me from obeying the conviction I feel is coming from God? Or will I chose to obey and trust that God is in control of the future of our family, no matter what kind of contraceptive choice we make, and that He only wants good things for us?

Priscilla Shirer said that when she has to make a decision between two options, and she finds that the ONLY reason she won't choose option A is because she feels scared, she usually chooses option A. Her reasoning is that fear is not from God. Satan wants to keep us from obeying God because it propels our relationship with Him to the next level. So Satan tries to scare us out of obeying.

Something to think about...