3.5 hrs

On Wednesday I took Lexi to the eye doctor. You may remember we were concerned a couple months ago that sometimes one of her eyes will focus on an object while the other eye turns outward slightly. We went to a super genius specialist, Dr. Meyer, who looked at the physical structures of her eyes and said they looked great. Then we were referred to a pediatric ophthalmologist, Dr. Flynn, who tested her vision, and said there were no signs of near or far sightedness - i.e. - no need for glasses. Both doctors wanted to check her again 2 months later, which is now, just to make sure she hasn't gone from great to worse. I declined the recheck with Dr. Flynn because I haven't noticed anything getting worse. (By the way, her symptoms haven't gotten better either.) I was going to cancel our recheck with the super genius doctor too, but the nurse guilted me into keeping the appointment by saying the super genius can see things parents can't.

So Wednesday we showed up at Dr. Meyer's office for our 10:15 AM appointment. We signed in and I told the desk person that Dr. Meyer had told us to just come right back when we got there, the recheck would only take a couple of minutes. The receptionist acted like that was reasonable and put a star by our name.

We sat down in a cushy waiting room with about 20 other people. Note: when a waiting room has leather recliners, an HD flat screen TV, and several patients sound asleep in their recliners, assume you will be waiting awhile. Lexi entertained the older patients with her cuteness, ate a banana, watched the Price Is Right wheel spin, and played with another baby. About 45 minutes later, we were called back.

We answered some preliminary questions with a nurse, and then we were ushered to waiting room #2. Note: when a doctor's office has multiple waiting rooms, all of which have unhappy looking people in them, assume you will be waiting awhile. The second waiting room had about 5 people in it who were waiting for their dilating drops to kick in, so the room was darkened. Lexi didn't mind. She explored every chair, every magazine, and some more snacks in her bag. We took a potty break and invented some new toys with a Styrofoam cup, a sugar packet, and a plastic coffee stirrer. About 45 minutes later, a nurse took us to the room where we would be seen by the doctor.

As we entered the exam room, the nurse said, "It will still be awhile, but I thought you'd be more comfortable in here." Note: when a nurse says it will still be awhile, assume you will be waiting FOREVER. Lexi explored the bed, the various instruments, all the cabinets, and then decided she wanted to go on a walk around the building. I consented and we began to wander, entertaining the waiting patients that lined the hallways. By about noon I was contemplating the fact that neither Lexi nor I had anything to eat for lunch. She had been snacking on Goldfish and Teddy Grahams all morning, but I foresaw her wanting an actual meal any minute. I called Elian, who works just around the corner, and asked him to bring us Arby's. By 12:30 we were eating our lunch. Elian asked the nurse if Dr. Meyer was even in the office yet. I was puzzled by this question. I was more puzzled by her answer, "No, he should be in within the next half hour."

Internally, I went into a rage. I know Dr. Meyer is a super genius, he invented Lasik surgery, afterall, but this man had at least 50 patients waiting on him to come to work. I am not exaggerating. At least 50 people, with their eyes dilated, sitting in dark hallways and waiting rooms, twiddling their thumbs, and probably 20 more people sitting in the initial waiting room, and this man isn't even at work yet?! What's more, I later found out this is his normal daily schedule. The man that schedules appointments said Dr. Meyer usually arrives between 11:30 AM and 1:30 PM, and he'll stay until he sees the last patient, which has been as late as 9:30 PM. Make no mistake, the scheduler was not happy about his boss' disrespect for everyone else's time. And neither was I.

He finally got to work at 1:30 PM, and we were out the door by 2 PM. For a 10:15 AM appointment. Feel my anger?

The positives include Lexi's eyes have not gotten any worse, and she is being monitored by quite possibly the best eye doctor on the planet. However, he wants to recheck her in 6 months.

I am already dreading the wait.

Screw Screws

Everytime we attempt any kind of activity resembling home improvement, we inevitably feel dumber in the end than we did when we started.

Today's task was to hang a shelf in Lexi's room. This shelf has two slots in the back where nail or screw heads fit to secure the shelf to the wall. We didn't have screws that would work, so we went to Lowe's. This sounds like an innocent enough shopping list, doesn't it? All we needed was screws.

As we entered the store, we found ourselves in front of a 12' x 40' wall of assorted screws. Wood screws, brass screws, metal screws, self drilling screws, all coming in at least 100 different kinds. All we naively knew was that we needed screws.

Elian and I both have college degrees. We looked at this gigantic wall of screws for at least 15 minutes trying to discern which kind we needed. We read the signs and narrowed it down to wood screws. But there were at least 100 different types of wood screws to choose from. Some had round heads, others flat heads; some were smooth and then grooved, others were completely grooved. Which did we need? How would we know? Then there was the confusion over sizes. How long did we need? What diameter did we need? How would we know? There was a measuring device painted on the display, and we estimated that we needed screws that were 5/16 in diameter. The only problem was there were no screws labeled 5/16. Packages said things like 12 x 1-1/4. What does that mean? There were more than 12 screws in the package... At one point, Elian looked at me and said, "We're fairly educated people, aren't we?" We finally just guessed, bought some screws and took them home. Luckily, they worked.

What I want to know is, how can such a simple task of buying screws be so complicated? Is there a Screws 101 class out there the rest of the world has taken in order to navigate the variety of screws before them? No. I know we are not the only ones who have stood bewildered in the screw aisle. In fact, there was at least one person in every aisle of the store scratching their heads, trying to figure out what they needed for their "simple" Saturday project.

So, why do the screw companies assume we know what all their labeling figures mean? We don't! We are inept handy people that are too embarrassed to ask the Lowe's associates to help us to figure out how to buy screws.