8.10.2010

The All-Carb Diet

This post was originally written in 2006 in response to the then-popular No-Carb Diet.  I am re-posting it now in response to some Facebook friends who were discussing being sugartarians this morning.  Enjoy.

I'm thinking of patenting my new diet regimen: The All-Carb Diet. Here's how it works. Eat sugar the entire day. That's it. It's that simple. Anyone can do it! The best part is, this is a diet you can enjoy! I have been on this diet for most of my life, but just recently I have really buckled down and gotten serious about it. You'll be surprised where you can find sugar. It's in practically everything! For instance, here are some of the delicious things you can eat while on The All-Carb Diet:

-pizza, but try to avoid veggie pizza
-cookies, as long as they aren't sugar-free
-candy, again, no sugar-free
-cereal, especially sugar-coated or chocolate flavored
-bread/rolls, as long as they are white and not wheat
-pasta, as long as the noodles are not wheat noodles
-ice cream
-french fries
-frosting
-cake
-fruit, especially when dipped in chocolate or sprinkled with sugar
-chocolate milk
-soda, but no diet soda
-fruit juices
-Kool-Aid or any other similar sugar based beverage
-coffee, but not black

These are just some of the delicious things I eat everyday! Although I have not listed any meats or many dairy products, those are okay to consume in moderation as long as you accompany them with carbs/sugars in a 2:1 ratio. For example, if you want to have steak for dinner, that is okay, as long as you have 2 portions of carbs/sugars to every 1 portion of steak. So, a nice meal would consist of 1 cup of steak, 1 cup of chocolate covered strawberries, and 1 cup of Super Fudge Brownie ice cream. To complete the meal, choose your favorite sugary beverage from the list of approved foods above.

If you have any questions about whether or not what you are about to consume is in accordance with the ground rules of the All-Carb Diet, you can go ahead and eat your product of choice as long as you submerge it in liquid chocolate or raw sugar BEFORE consuming. For example, I have not addressed vegetables at all. Quite frankly, most vegetables are not good sources of carbs. So, the next time you start craving a salad, go ahead and use chocolate sauce as your dressing instead of that new Low-Carb Ranch dressing you have in your fridge.

Let's make eating fun again!

5 comments:

Liz F. said...

I love it. You should always make sure your coffee is a nice beige color because of all the heavy whipping cream and sugar :D

Jessica L. said...

I love it too!!!

Johnpaul said...

Wasn't that the diet on Mean Girls?

Amanda S. said...

I think my favorite part about this is that you measure steak in cups. What kind of steak do you eat?

Kelly said...

Amanda, I didn't even recognize how hilarious that was until you pointed it out! Also, my steak comes from a can.