Wow.

Yesterday Lexi and I went to Target to buy my brother-in-law a birthday present. We surveyed the store, making our usual stops in the baby and toy sections, just for fun. We got the gift and headed to check out. My ONE complaint about the Olive Branch Target, which is perfect in every other way, is they never have more than 2 registers open at a time, even on a Saturday afternoon, even when the lines are 6 people deep.

Anyway, we waited FOREVER while the slowest cashier you've ever seen checked out this lady who was trying to break the world record for Most Things Ever Bought at Target During a Single Visit. Needless to say, Lexi was getting antsy. She wanted out of that cart so she could go touch each and every item she could get her hands on.

By the time we had paid, she was on the verge of totally melting down. I pushed the cart back to the front of the store and hurried to get Lexi out. I set her down and she bolted for the door. I grabbed my purse and chased Lexi down before she got outside. We got back in the car and went on our way...

Three or four hours later it occurred to me that I hadn't seen the gift we had purchased. I jogged my pregnant memory the best I could and came to the horrifying conclusion that I left the paid-for gift in the shopping cart! I went to Elian and asked him if he had seen the gift. Nope. I called the store. The automated voice said, "Press 1 for Pharmacy....Press 2 for Photo..." I was waiting for "Press 5 if you're a moron..." I got a hold of customer service, thankfully, they had the lost gift waiting for me. Hooray, we weren't out $30!

I hung up the phone and explained everything to my husband, who was smirking the whole time. I said, "Part of this is pregnancy brain." You pretty much lose all ability to think logically and to remember anything at all while pregnant. They say it's the hormones... "Part of this is having a fussy toddler to contend with - I just got distracted." And then I laughed and admitted, "And part of this is just me." Elian laughed and asked, "What are the percentages?" Not wanting to take too much personal responsibility, I said, "49, 49, and 1." In all seriousness, Elian looked at me and said, "That's only 99%." "What?" I said, very confused, as he burst into hysterics.

Exactly.