But toddlers who have recently learned to walk fall down a lot. My sweet girl must fall 50 times each day. Maybe more. She loses her balance, trips on toys, shoes, and invisible landmines. Just this week she has skinned her knee on the driveway (while holding my hand), fallen into the coffee table head first, knocked the top of her head while she was underneath the table 3 different times in 2 days, and hit the back of her head on the wall. In fact, right now, she is whining because she lost her balance and fell on her butt on the linoleum in the kitchen - something that occurs at least once every 15 minutes.
You may think from my description that Lexi must be unusually uncoordinated, but she's not. She's just your average baby trying to perfect her toddling. She's experimenting, trying to understand what the natural law of gravity is all about.
By mid-afternoon she is tired of falling and begins to cry out of frustration. She is exhausted from having to pull herself back up all day long. But she has one more day of walking experience under her belt. Although her daily improvement is so gradual it is hard to pinpoint, it's there. And one day in the not-so-distant future, we will look up and Lexi will have a fall-free day.
Of course I have to liken this whole experience to my spiritual walk. I must fall 50 times each day. Maybe more. Some falls hurt worse than others, but none of them are fun. And pretty soon I get tired of falling and pulling myself back up again. I get frustrated with the whole process and want to quit. I think, "I'll never get the hang of this; I'll always fail." But that's not true.
Each day the Lord shapes me to be more like Christ, little by little, and the minute progress goes largely unnoticed. But it's there. And one day in the not-too-distant future, I will look up and think, "Wow! The Lord had nothing to work with, and look what he has transformed me into! He used his grace, mercy and Son to change me into someone who can walk without falling."
8.29.2008
8.25.2008
Choked Up
We had our first near-death experience with Lexi a couple days ago. We were on vacation in the Smokies and stopped to eat at the best pizza place ever. Lexi was happily eating rolls until the pizza came. She was starting to get fussy and wanted to get out of her chair. When she saw the pizza, she went bananas for it. Of course, it was super hot, so I told her to wait. Toddlers don't like the word wait. I saw the beginning of a tantrum coming on, so I ripped off a piece of crust and gave it to her. I remember thinking, "This crust is kind of hard....but she's getting better at this chewing thing...it will be fine."
Lexi shoved the crust in her mouth and began chewing...she just never finished chewing. All toddlers cough and sputter during meals; they are just learning how much to chew and when to swallow. So when Lexi started sputtering, I didn't think much of it. Then she stopped sputtering. And I started panicking. She just sat in her chair with a pained look on her face, as silent as she could be. Silence means the airway is completely blocked and the person needs help - like the Heimlich - in order to unblock the airway.
Things moved in slow motion. As my mind began to realize what was truly happening, thoughts of losing my precious child flashed in my head. I couldn't breathe at the thought of not having Lexi in my life.
My mother-in-law, who has been trained in CPR/Heimlich forever, was quicker to act than I was. She pulled Lexi out of her high chair. At that moment, I saw Lexi begin to turn blue. My husband says that didn't happen. Either way, my mother-in-law flipped Lexi onto her stomach and began hitting her in the center of her back with the palm of her hand. After 4 or 5 blows, the pizza crust came out and Lexi was breathing again.
I scooped her into my arms as she began to cry and quickly took her outside the restaurant. At first I left to console Lexi. Then I realized I was way more shaken up than she was. She recovered within 1 minute while I had a nervous breakdown. I thought about how much I treasure my baby girl and how I just couldn't go on if God took her to heaven before he takes me. Then the guilt set in - I had given her the pizza crust even though I thought it was too hard for her to chew. Then I thought about how I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if the outcome had been bad.
Luckily, the Lord protected Lexi that day and didn't allow any permanent harm to occur. I pray that he will continue to divinely protect her every moment of her life.
Lexi shoved the crust in her mouth and began chewing...she just never finished chewing. All toddlers cough and sputter during meals; they are just learning how much to chew and when to swallow. So when Lexi started sputtering, I didn't think much of it. Then she stopped sputtering. And I started panicking. She just sat in her chair with a pained look on her face, as silent as she could be. Silence means the airway is completely blocked and the person needs help - like the Heimlich - in order to unblock the airway.
Things moved in slow motion. As my mind began to realize what was truly happening, thoughts of losing my precious child flashed in my head. I couldn't breathe at the thought of not having Lexi in my life.
My mother-in-law, who has been trained in CPR/Heimlich forever, was quicker to act than I was. She pulled Lexi out of her high chair. At that moment, I saw Lexi begin to turn blue. My husband says that didn't happen. Either way, my mother-in-law flipped Lexi onto her stomach and began hitting her in the center of her back with the palm of her hand. After 4 or 5 blows, the pizza crust came out and Lexi was breathing again.
I scooped her into my arms as she began to cry and quickly took her outside the restaurant. At first I left to console Lexi. Then I realized I was way more shaken up than she was. She recovered within 1 minute while I had a nervous breakdown. I thought about how much I treasure my baby girl and how I just couldn't go on if God took her to heaven before he takes me. Then the guilt set in - I had given her the pizza crust even though I thought it was too hard for her to chew. Then I thought about how I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if the outcome had been bad.
Luckily, the Lord protected Lexi that day and didn't allow any permanent harm to occur. I pray that he will continue to divinely protect her every moment of her life.
8.21.2008
Electronic Toothbrushes
I saw an electronic toothbrush today, and I thought to myself, in the likeness of Chandler Bing, "Could you be any lazier?"
8.20.2008
Human Pillow
We are on vacation right now, which means Lexi is sleeping in a port-a-crib in my room. She went to bed 2.5 hrs late last night, and we traveled one time zone later, so I was praying that she would sleep past 8 AM, local time. Not so.
She woke up groggy about 7 AM, realized she wasn't at home, and began surveying her new environment. That's when she spotted Mommy on the bed. Once she saw me, she had to come get in bed with me. She was still tired, so I scooped her up as quickly as I could, and laid back down with her on my bed. She knew she was still tired, so she tried to get comfortable enough to fall back asleep.
I don't know why, but whenever I bring her to sleep in my bed, which is seldom, Lexi finds the only way she can fall back to sleep is if she uses my face as a pillow. Most of the time, as was the case this morning, she wants me to turn my head side ways so she can lay her left cheek on my right cheek. Sometimes she likes to climb over me and put her chest on my cheek and rest her head upside down on the slope of my head. Odd. Many times the child actually falls back asleep in these crazy positions. But guess who doesn't. Mama. In fact, I do everything I can just to make sure I can still breathe. And although I usually find this AM charade comes too early to be entertaining, by the time she falls asleep on me, I am reminded of how cute she really is and of how blessed I am to be Lexi's mama.
She woke up groggy about 7 AM, realized she wasn't at home, and began surveying her new environment. That's when she spotted Mommy on the bed. Once she saw me, she had to come get in bed with me. She was still tired, so I scooped her up as quickly as I could, and laid back down with her on my bed. She knew she was still tired, so she tried to get comfortable enough to fall back asleep.
I don't know why, but whenever I bring her to sleep in my bed, which is seldom, Lexi finds the only way she can fall back to sleep is if she uses my face as a pillow. Most of the time, as was the case this morning, she wants me to turn my head side ways so she can lay her left cheek on my right cheek. Sometimes she likes to climb over me and put her chest on my cheek and rest her head upside down on the slope of my head. Odd. Many times the child actually falls back asleep in these crazy positions. But guess who doesn't. Mama. In fact, I do everything I can just to make sure I can still breathe. And although I usually find this AM charade comes too early to be entertaining, by the time she falls asleep on me, I am reminded of how cute she really is and of how blessed I am to be Lexi's mama.
8.16.2008
Screw Screws
Everytime we attempt any kind of activity resembling home improvement, we inevitably feel dumber in the end than we did when we started.
Today's task was to hang a shelf in Lexi's room. This shelf has two slots in the back where nail or screw heads fit to secure the shelf to the wall. We didn't have screws that would work, so we went to Lowe's. This sounds like an innocent enough shopping list, doesn't it? All we needed was screws.
As we entered the store, we found ourselves in front of a 12' x 40' wall of assorted screws. Wood screws, brass screws, metal screws, self drilling screws, all coming in at least 100 different kinds. All we naively knew was that we needed screws.
Elian and I both have college degrees. We looked at this gigantic wall of screws for at least 15 minutes trying to discern which kind we needed. We read the signs and narrowed it down to wood screws. But there were at least 100 different types of wood screws to choose from. Some had round heads, others flat heads; some were smooth and then grooved, others were completely grooved. Which did we need? How would we know? Then there was the confusion over sizes. How long did we need? What diameter did we need? How would we know? There was a measuring device painted on the display, and we estimated that we needed screws that were 5/16 in diameter. The only problem was there were no screws labeled 5/16. Packages said things like 12 x 1-1/4. What does that mean? There were more than 12 screws in the package... At one point, Elian looked at me and said, "We're fairly educated people, aren't we?" We finally just guessed, bought some screws and took them home. Luckily, they worked.
What I want to know is, how can such a simple task of buying screws be so complicated? Is there a Screws 101 class out there the rest of the world has taken in order to navigate the variety of screws before them? No. I know we are not the only ones who have stood bewildered in the screw aisle. In fact, there was at least one person in every aisle of the store scratching their heads, trying to figure out what they needed for their "simple" Saturday project.
So, why do the screw companies assume we know what all their labeling figures mean? We don't! We are inept handy people that are too embarrassed to ask the Lowe's associates to help us to figure out how to buy screws.
Today's task was to hang a shelf in Lexi's room. This shelf has two slots in the back where nail or screw heads fit to secure the shelf to the wall. We didn't have screws that would work, so we went to Lowe's. This sounds like an innocent enough shopping list, doesn't it? All we needed was screws.
As we entered the store, we found ourselves in front of a 12' x 40' wall of assorted screws. Wood screws, brass screws, metal screws, self drilling screws, all coming in at least 100 different kinds. All we naively knew was that we needed screws.
Elian and I both have college degrees. We looked at this gigantic wall of screws for at least 15 minutes trying to discern which kind we needed. We read the signs and narrowed it down to wood screws. But there were at least 100 different types of wood screws to choose from. Some had round heads, others flat heads; some were smooth and then grooved, others were completely grooved. Which did we need? How would we know? Then there was the confusion over sizes. How long did we need? What diameter did we need? How would we know? There was a measuring device painted on the display, and we estimated that we needed screws that were 5/16 in diameter. The only problem was there were no screws labeled 5/16. Packages said things like 12 x 1-1/4. What does that mean? There were more than 12 screws in the package... At one point, Elian looked at me and said, "We're fairly educated people, aren't we?" We finally just guessed, bought some screws and took them home. Luckily, they worked.
What I want to know is, how can such a simple task of buying screws be so complicated? Is there a Screws 101 class out there the rest of the world has taken in order to navigate the variety of screws before them? No. I know we are not the only ones who have stood bewildered in the screw aisle. In fact, there was at least one person in every aisle of the store scratching their heads, trying to figure out what they needed for their "simple" Saturday project.
So, why do the screw companies assume we know what all their labeling figures mean? We don't! We are inept handy people that are too embarrassed to ask the Lowe's associates to help us to figure out how to buy screws.
8.14.2008
Walking in Memphis/Olive Branch
Lexi took her first unaided steps about two weeks ago. In one night she went from zero steps on her imaginary pedometer to about 50. She just started walking back and forth between Elian and me, a distance of about 10 feet. She did it three times and called it a night. Since then, she has been unstoppable.
Lexi wants to walk all day. During the past two weeks she has mastered pulling herself to a standing position, walking by herself, walking on uneven surfaces, u-turns, walking barefoot and in shoes, bending over to get a toy off the floor and standing back up again without falling over, and climbing up the stairs at a vigorous pace with few, if any, stumbles. I am astonished at how quickly my immobile child has become almost independently mobile. She still has a couple more movements to tackle, like squatting, walking in socks, and standing up when there isn't anything to pull up on near by. But, by and large, she can get where she wants to when she wants to.
This new found movement has led to a fair amount of bumps and bruises, but at least Lexi hasn't smacked her head or shed any blood (yet). The most amusing of all her falls occurred yesterday at the doctor's office. There was a toy box in the waiting room. Lexi was standing at it, pulling all the toys out and throwing them on the floor. Once the toy level got too low for her to reach anything, she stood on her tippy toes. When that didn't work, she allowed her feet to leave the ground. Now, for those who haven't thought about it, toddlers are top heavy. They have big, heavy heads, round bellies, and their short legs just don't keep them on the ground when they are bent over at the waist reaching for toys in the bottom of a bin. Lexi went head first into the toys, and her little legs went parallel to the floor. I had to pull her out of the toy box and set her upright. The experience frightened her more than it hurt her, and it taught me to be more vigilant when she is standing near toilets and empty bathtubs - yikes!
Lexi wants to walk all day. During the past two weeks she has mastered pulling herself to a standing position, walking by herself, walking on uneven surfaces, u-turns, walking barefoot and in shoes, bending over to get a toy off the floor and standing back up again without falling over, and climbing up the stairs at a vigorous pace with few, if any, stumbles. I am astonished at how quickly my immobile child has become almost independently mobile. She still has a couple more movements to tackle, like squatting, walking in socks, and standing up when there isn't anything to pull up on near by. But, by and large, she can get where she wants to when she wants to.
This new found movement has led to a fair amount of bumps and bruises, but at least Lexi hasn't smacked her head or shed any blood (yet). The most amusing of all her falls occurred yesterday at the doctor's office. There was a toy box in the waiting room. Lexi was standing at it, pulling all the toys out and throwing them on the floor. Once the toy level got too low for her to reach anything, she stood on her tippy toes. When that didn't work, she allowed her feet to leave the ground. Now, for those who haven't thought about it, toddlers are top heavy. They have big, heavy heads, round bellies, and their short legs just don't keep them on the ground when they are bent over at the waist reaching for toys in the bottom of a bin. Lexi went head first into the toys, and her little legs went parallel to the floor. I had to pull her out of the toy box and set her upright. The experience frightened her more than it hurt her, and it taught me to be more vigilant when she is standing near toilets and empty bathtubs - yikes!
8.06.2008
Opthalmologist
We took Lexi to an ophthalmologist today, and he ruled out all the serious terrifying diseases. As far as the physical structures go, Lexi's eyes are 100% healthy. This doctor also treats Elian's mom, and he said her disease, histoplasmosis, is not inheritable, which is great news. He has now referred us to a pediatric optometrist who will test Lexi's vision and decide whether or not she needs glasses. We should see him next week, hopefully.
For the record, Lexi cried 4 times at this doctor's office. So, apparently, she is scared of ALL people wearing scrubs, not just her pediatrician. She cried when she got eye drops to dilate her eyes, but that was an invasion of personal space by a stranger as well as physical discomfort. She cried when they attempted to take pictures of her eyes because they wanted her to hold her head at a weird angle. Needless to say, the actual picture taking was deemed impossible and the mission was abandoned after several shrills. Then she cried when the doctor made her lay down so he could examine her - i.e. - shine a bright light in her dilated eyes. And on the way out she cried when we stopped to make a follow up appointment because the man helping us was wearing scrubs. SAD!
I can't help but wonder how all of these painful, frightening interactions with doctors and nurses are negatively shaping her psyche. But what can I do?
For the record, Lexi cried 4 times at this doctor's office. So, apparently, she is scared of ALL people wearing scrubs, not just her pediatrician. She cried when she got eye drops to dilate her eyes, but that was an invasion of personal space by a stranger as well as physical discomfort. She cried when they attempted to take pictures of her eyes because they wanted her to hold her head at a weird angle. Needless to say, the actual picture taking was deemed impossible and the mission was abandoned after several shrills. Then she cried when the doctor made her lay down so he could examine her - i.e. - shine a bright light in her dilated eyes. And on the way out she cried when we stopped to make a follow up appointment because the man helping us was wearing scrubs. SAD!
I can't help but wonder how all of these painful, frightening interactions with doctors and nurses are negatively shaping her psyche. But what can I do?
8.01.2008
Shoe
Lexi uses several words and almost-words in the proper context: mama, dada, yeah, no, des (for yes), and moo or boo (for the sound a cow makes). For months now she has been fascinated with shoes. Her shoes, your shoes, anybody's shoes, they are all great play things to her. And for months she has called them shhhhs.
But today, as she sat at my feet, trying to give me my sandals, I heard clear as day "shoe". You won't believe how ecstatically I reacted; I hardly believe it myself. "YES!!! SHOE!!! GOOD GIRL!!!" I asked her to say it again. She looked at me and said shhh. I said shoe. She said shhh. I said shoe. She said shhh. I said, "We're calling your Daddy so you can say it for him." I dialed. She looked at me. Elian answered. I explained the previous linguistic breakthrough. I put him on speaker phone. I asked Lexi what she was holding. She said shhh. I sighed. I tried three more times. She was more interested in the phone I was holding. I hung up.
Then she said shoe with perfect diction. I re-celebrated as if she had once been completely mute and had uttered her first sound since birth. She said shhh.
A few hours later Elian came home and asked her what was on his feet. She was completely confused.
Then her great-grandpa came over to play before dinner. As is his custom, he got ready to take her for a walk. I sat her down to put her shoes on, and Lexi's little angel voice said, "Shoe."
Then she crapped.
But today, as she sat at my feet, trying to give me my sandals, I heard clear as day "shoe". You won't believe how ecstatically I reacted; I hardly believe it myself. "YES!!! SHOE!!! GOOD GIRL!!!" I asked her to say it again. She looked at me and said shhh. I said shoe. She said shhh. I said shoe. She said shhh. I said, "We're calling your Daddy so you can say it for him." I dialed. She looked at me. Elian answered. I explained the previous linguistic breakthrough. I put him on speaker phone. I asked Lexi what she was holding. She said shhh. I sighed. I tried three more times. She was more interested in the phone I was holding. I hung up.
Then she said shoe with perfect diction. I re-celebrated as if she had once been completely mute and had uttered her first sound since birth. She said shhh.
A few hours later Elian came home and asked her what was on his feet. She was completely confused.
Then her great-grandpa came over to play before dinner. As is his custom, he got ready to take her for a walk. I sat her down to put her shoes on, and Lexi's little angel voice said, "Shoe."
Then she crapped.
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